I Never Forgot About You
by PheobeHall456
Summary: After Blairs pregnancy scare in Season 1, Chuck took off to Japan. Four years later, he comes home for a friend's funeral and finds a broken Blair. They brace the rocky road together but a secret that Blair keeps could be her own destruction...and Chucks.
1. Diss Missed

**A/N: Hello! This is my first Gossip Girl fic, but not my first fanfic. I've written a couple Twilight fics, and I have a lot of fans, so if you're into Twilight, feel free to check them out. They are currently on hiatus because I've got a bad case of writers block on them. I hope you like this story!**

***UPDATE* A/N: I would like to point out that this is not the original first chapter. I had to delete the first three chapters of this chapter because I had started the story at the end on an episode and included some quotes, but altered a quote spoken by Chuck. After I posted that first chapter, I began to get horrible comments telling me that I needed to get my hearing checked, that I needed to have my son taken away, and that I needed to kill myself. Unfourtunately, it was multiple commentors who said this, not just one. Finally, I decided to delete the first part of this chapter so that I would stop getting these comments. I deeply apoligize to any new readers for not being able to read this chapter the way I intended for it to be.**

**To clear any confusion, this first chapter was set immediately after Season 1's "The Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate". If you don't remember, Blair has a pregnancy scare, Nate finds out that Chuck had sex with Blair, Blair's reputation is ruined by Chuck, and Chuck compares Blair to one of his father's whores.  
**

***I DO NOT OWN GOSSIP GIRL***

**BPOV**

I waited until I was out of the sight of the window before I reached out to lean against the brick. My breath came back in short, sobbing gasps. I blinked back the tears that were gathering in my eyes. I couldn't break down in the middle of a sidewalk. I would be on Gossip Girl within the hour. If I wanted to keep what little dignity I had left, I had to get back home. Not willing to hail a cab, I took off in a quick walk. Home was a few blocks up.

Before I knew it, I was slowly stepping out of the elevator. Dorota's shuffling feet came up to me. "Miss Blair, what is wrong?" Dorota's voice was full of concern, but I couldn't bring myself to explain.

"Dorota," I said slowly, careful not to let my voice wobble, "could you please get a bath ready for me? As hot as possible."

"Yes, Miss Blair." Dorota shuffled up the stairs, and I slowly marched behind, gripping the railing. Once in my room, I peeled off my clothes and dropped them on the floor. I touched them as little as possible, as though they were contaminated. I entered my bathroom just as Dorota turned the water off to my bath. Steam was rising from the water, and the tang of my favorite lime soak filled the air. I dismissed her, and tested the water with my foot. It burned, and that was exactly what I wanted. As I submerged my leg, the heat of the water sent prickles through me. I slid the rest of my body in the water, resting my head against the cool side. The water wasn't hot enough to burn me, but it was hot enough to cause a little pain and help distarct me from the pain in my heart. I had to talk to someone. I needed someone. I grabbed the phone one the nearby table and pressed the correct buttons. It didn't even ring before te voicemail picked up.

"Hey, you've reached Serena Van Der Woodsen. I can't answer the phone right now, but if y-" I hung up. I wouldn't know what to leave in a messege. I needed someone now, I couldn't wait for Serena to find a voicemail. I hesitated, than slowly punched in a new number.

"Hello?" A groggy voice came on the line. Of course. I should have known. It was just past midnight.

"Nate?" My voice broke, giving my pain away. Tears began spilling over, dripping into the bathwater.

"Blair? Why are you...What's wrong?" The sleepy annoyance changed to concern when he registered the sobs coming from my chest.

"Oh God, Nate. I'm so sorry. Please, Nate, I need you, please. I'm sorry." My tears came faster, my sobs racking in my chest.

"I'm coming. I'll be right there." The line clicked dead. I put the phone back. Nate was coming. His place wasn't far. He would be here.

My tears kept coming. I was in so much pain. My face slipped into the water, and I was completely submerged. I didn't have the strength to pull myself up. I didn't see the point. It didn't take long before my mind went blissfully blank.

* * *

"Come on, Blair! Don't do this! Fight, damnit!" A voice drifted to me, and I was vaguely aware of something hitting my chest. Water began pouring out of my mouth, and I started instinctly coughing for air. My eyes fluttered open to see Nate leaning over me, his hair dripping. Then I remembered...the bath...I slid underwater...Chuck...I felt the sting of tears in my eyes again, but they didn't threaten to spill over. "Blair, are you ok? Dorota, can you grab her a robe or something?" Nate's hand came up to my cheek, his fingers lightly stroking my skin. Dorota shuffled back in. "Blair? Can you stand?" I nodded slightly, and he helped me to my feet. I wobbled a bit before my knees gave way. Nate was quicker than me, and he caught me. "Dorota, can you help me put it on her?" Dorota slid my arms into my dark blue silk robe as Nate held me up, not even fazed by the fact that I was naked. Once the robe was tied, Nate leaned down and swept my legs out from under me.

I was laid gently on my bed. Nate looked at me akwardly, then he slid next to me. I curled into him. A warm blanket was pulled over me, and Nate wrapped his arms around me. "Anything else, Mister Nate?" Dorota asked quietly.

"No thank you, Dorota. Don't tell her mom anything. A least not tonight, please."

"Of course. Will you be staying night?"

"Yes. Goodnight, Dorota."

Dorota turned the lights out and closed the door. Nate turned his face back to me, and with the light of the city coming though my window, I could see that it was full of concern. "I'm sorry," I croaked. My throat hurt from coughing, and my voice was dry and quiet.

"It's ok, Blair. We'll talk in the morning. Just rest. It'll be fine," Nate wispered in my ear. I nuzzled closer to him, and his arms tightened around me. I didn't want to, but I felt myself drift off to sleep in the saftey of Nate's embrace.

**A/N: There you have it! The first chapter is complete! Its not the only chapter I'm going to post today. I meant to post this last night, but I decided to upload a blank document and type it here instead of typing it and then uploading it...so of course when I pressed "Save Changes", it logged me out and I lost my hour and a half worth of work. So I typed it up again today and I'm planning on writing chapter two next. I don't know how many chapters it will be. I know where I'm going with it. Obviously, this chapter took place at the end of "A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate" in the first season...but I'm taking it in a different direction.**

**I'd appreciate it if I got some comments. Im not one of those writers that say "I won't post the next chapter until i get __ comments", I just find that I beat writers block better if I have some feedback. I'd really appreciate your opinion. Please keep your criticism constructive. I'm a bit sesitive to flames. If you see any spelling or grammar errors, please let me know so that I can change them if they are indeed wrong! the more comments and feedback, the better my next chapter will be.**

**Until next time, xoxo!**


	2. Back In The City

**A/N: OK, so here's the next chapter. For those of you who didn't understand, the first chapter started at the end of Episode 13 on the first season, and went from there. I know a lot of you were wondering how my summary tied into my story, and I promice that you'll get it in this chapter. I'm suprised that I got five reviews in an hour! Thank you so much!  
**

**Here's the second chapter, which will explain the summary.**

* * *

Four Years Later...

**CPOV**

The room was dark when my phone rang. I sat up, my head throbbing. I felt the need for something to cure a hangover, but I had a feeling that if I wanted my head to stop throbbing, I would have to stop that incessant ringing. I fumbled for my phone, knocking the clock on the floor. "Hello?" I hoped to God it wasn't business...my throat was scratchy from sleep and alcohol.

"Chuck." The voice on the other end wasn't what I expected. It was so familiar...

"Oh, Marissa. What is it? If I forgot to pay you again for your services last night, I can leave your payment at the front desk and you can pick it up later this afternoon." I said, thinking back to the events of last night.

"No, Chuck. It's...it's Blair." I was silent. I didn't know what to say. Was this a joke? Why was she calling? Why was she calling me? "Chuck? Are you there?"

I cleared my throat. "Yes. What is it?"

She was silent. When she spoke again, I realized why I hadn't recognized her voice right away. It was monotone and detached, quite unlike the Blair I knew. "Chuck, you need to come back to New York. Just a few days. I already paid for a round trip ticket for you. It was hard, and if I hadn't it would have taken you too long to get a ticket here. You need to be here in time for the..." her voice broke. This intrigued me. I never heard her show pain in her voice. Then I remembered that I didn't know her anymore.

"For what?" I pressed.

"The funeral." Her voice caught just enough for me to hear it. I thought about it. I didn't have any business this week I couldn't put off, and she wouldn't have called me if it wasn't important. I knew I didn't want to ask who it was. I couldn't fly all the way from Tokyo to New York grieving for someone. I would have to spend the flight rearranging my schedule.

"Of course. I'll be there. What time is my flight?"

"In Japan time, you'll be boarding the plane in four hours." I scowled at the phone. I wouldn't even be able to stop for a drink at the bar to prepare for an annoyingly long flight. I was just glad that I never sold my old penthouse. I would need somewhere to catch up with the jet lag.

We said our goodbyes and I began tossing clothes into a suitcase.

* * *

Three connector flights later, I was walking out of the JFK at 7AM Eastern Standard Time. A man approached me. "You need a taxi?"

"As if, sleezebag. Go scam a tourist, not a local." I dismissed him as I strode to my limo and slid in, tipping my head to him. I watched as the familiar sights of the city blurred past. I couldn't believe that I hadn't been here in four years and nothing had changed.

"Mr. Bass? Are you getting out?" the driver asked. I didn't notice that we had stopped in front of our destination. I got out, and headed for the building. I hadn't taken two steps inside before the man at the front desk called my name.

"Mr. Bass. You are supposed to go up to the penthouse."

"Thank you." I nodded to him as I crossed to the elevators.

On the ride up, I checked to make sure my tie was straight. The doors opened, and I stepped out. I was immediately embraced by a large mound of blonde hair.

"Serena. It's nice to see you." I was a bit surprised at her, she had never hugged me like this before.

"Chuck, I'm so sorry. I'm glad you could come." She let go and I looked at her. She looked exactly the same, although her skin was a bit darker. A tan from a summer in the Hamptons, no doubt.

"Thanks to Blair," I said. This got me curious. "Is she here?"

Serena nodded. "This is her and Nate's place. Didn't you know? She's in the kitchen. She's not too good, I thought I should leave her be. You should go, she'll be glad to see you, though." She shooed me towards a door, which I took to be the kitchen.

When I opened the door, Blair didn't look up. She looked the same, yet different somehow. Her shoulders were hunched over her drink, as though she was holding onto it for dear life. She swirled the amber liquid around in the glass before taking a sip. Her brown curls spilled over her shoulders."Blair?" She looked up at me.

"Chuck. I'm glad you came." Her voice was the same monotone as it was on the phone, but her face was contorted into the mask of a smile. "I know Nate would want you here..." She turned back to her drink. "You were his best friend." She tossed her head back, the rest of the drink going down her throat. She sat the glass down and poured herself another half glass, adding two ice cubes from the metal can in the center of the counter. She raised her glass "You want one?"I shook my head and grabbed a glass of wine from the tray beside the ice cubes.

"I'll keep it light for now, thanks," I said, taking a sip. "How are you holding up?" I asked.

"I...I don't...I cant believe that this is really happening. I'm burying my husband today." She took a gulp from her glass. "I'm burying your best friend."

I sat on the seat next to her, placing my drink in front of me. We were silent for a minute before I had to ask her the question I didn't want the answer to. "How?"

She didn't answer right away. I had to look at her to make sure she hadn't frozen solid. She took another swallow of her drink and spoke. "It was my fault. I had made reservations for lunch at Butter. I didn't know that he had made plans with Tripp. I asked him to reschedule. He never said no to me, so he agreed. I went to Butter, and I waited four hours for him to show up. I called his phone, and it went straight to voicemail. I left fifty messages. I finally decided to go home. I was too upset about being stood up by my own husband to notice that traffic was a mess and it wasn't even rush hour. I got home, checked the answering machine, and headed straight for the hospital." She stopped to take a deep gulp from her glass before continuing. "I always knew some of the cab drivers drove crazy. The one that hit Nate's limo was drunk and going so fast. Didn't notice that he had a red light and hit Nate's limo on the back passenger door. Nate didn't have a chance." Blair's voice was wobbling, an I could tell she was trying to keep it together. "If it wasn't for me and my stupid reservation, Nate would still be alive."

I reached over to take her hand. "You couldn't have known."

"But if I hadn't been so selfish and made him choose me over his cousin, none of this would have happened."

"Blair, he would have chosen you over Tripp any day. I haven't talked to him in four years and even I know that. Our last conversation wasn't ideal, what with him threatening to kill me for sleeping with you and all, but it showed how much he cared for you." Blair was silent. I kept rambling on like an idiot. "He was mad at me for sleeping with you when you two weren't even together! He cared so much about you that..."

"Chuck. I cant." She held up a hand. "I can't take a trip down memory lane right now."

I nodded. "I'm sorry. I got carried away."

We each took a few more drinks before she spoke again. "He forgave me. It took him a while, but he forgave me. I stayed faithful to him. We got married. I didn't think I would be a widow so young."

"I got your invitation to the wedding. I was away at the time on business and didn't get it until I got back to Tokyo. By then it was too late. I'm sorry. It must have been beautiful."

She nodded. "Yes, it was. He was a better husband to me than I deserved."

I was confused. "Did you love him?"

She drained her glass before she spoke. "Yes. I loved him. I don't think we loved each other the same way, though."

Before I could ask what she meant, Serena opened the door. "Blair, Chuck, we have to head to the church now." Blair nodded, hopping down from the chair and smoothing the flowing black silk of her dress. It draped on her shoulders and came together in a sweetheart neckline. The shape hugged her body. Only Blair could look so beautiful even in mourning. I followed her and Serena into the elevator and to the sidewalk, where a line of limos were waiting.

"Chuck, you're riding with Blair. I'm riding right behind you guys with Eleanor and Cyrus. I'll see you there." Serena gave a little wave and walked away. I reached for the limo door and opened it.

"Ladies first." I held out my hand to help Blair in. She looked as though she would collapse at any moment. I slid in behind her, and we took off.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry for those of you who were fans of Nate. I'm in love with him, too, so I assure you that his death was nessicary. I'm working on the third chapter tonight, and hopefully I can have it up before midnight tonight. I'm sorry if you were confused by the first chapter, I should have explained everything a bit better. I hope any confusion is cleared up now. In the next chapter, Blair breaks down, and an old friend (or shall I say enemy?) comes in to stir up drama. Gossip Girl will also be heard from in the next chapter. **

**Also, I do belive my son is trying to tell me to tell my readers that he says hi. Actually, he said "ahooooom" which I take to mean "tell your readers I say hi". Give him a break, hes six months old.**

**Continue commenting and sending love! Until next time, xoxo.**


	3. From N to G

**A/N: This chapter is going to be very angsty. I said that an old friend/enemy would be back in this chapter, and thats not exactly the choice of words I should have used, I should have said "will make their appearance at the end of the chapter" Meaning they appear and the chapter ends. This is the part where you ask me if I'm leaving you with a cliffhanger and I say yes. =) On with the show, my loverlies!  
**

* * *

**BPOV**

The ride to the church was quiet. I wasn't sure about Chuck, but it was akward for me to sit next to him. I loved Nate, but I had loved Chuck in a much different and deeper way. Chuck left, and Nate forgave me. We settled down and got married. Then this had to happen. I still didn't belive it. I loved Nate and I missed him.

We reached the church, and Chuck helpeed me from the limo. I felt a tingle go through my arm when I took his hand, but I had to dismiss it. I was burying my husband today. I didn't have time for old feelings to come back. I was the grieving widow. I didn't have to act the part, because it honestly did tear me apart. Nate had treated me better than I desesrved. I had admitted to him the part of my heart still pined for Chuck, but that I would never leave him as long as he wanted me with him. Nate told me that it was all right. He forgave me for sleeping with Chuck because he realized that we had been broken up at the time and he couldn't hold it against me.

It took me at least fifteen minutes to get from the limo to my front seat in the pew because everyone came up to hug me and offer condolances. I had to keep blinking back tears. It was hard enough not to cry on the way there, but any sane person would say that when they want to cry and someone hugs them, it only makes it harder not to. I found strength somehow, and was sitting staring at Nate's closed casket sitting in front of me.

"I don't know what's worse: open or closed," I found myself whispering to Chuck, who had been seated next to me.

"What, Blair?" He leaned his ear closer, taking my hand in the process and sending an electric jolt through my body.

"I don't know what would be worse: having the casket open and being able to see his face and nothing behind it, or having the casket closed and not being able to see him at all." My voice was quivering.

"I think closed is better," Chuck whispered back. "Nate would want us to remember him as he really was. He wouldn't want our last memory of him to be of his cold dead body." I nodded, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay. Chuck was right. I tried to remember the last time I saw Nate. He had been wearing...nothing, actually. We had made love the night before and fell asleep together...I woke up when he got out of bed and watched as he dressed for work. I went back to sleep, woke up, had my morning coffee and remembered the reservations I had made for that evening at Butter and called his office to tell him. A rouge tear spilled over, and I dabbed at it with my hankerchief I knew I would need. I wouldn't be able to keep my tears at bay the entire time.

* * *

The funeral seemed so much longer than it actually was. The church kept getting smaller and smaller as it grew closer to the moment that I had to go up and stand at the podiem beside his casket and talk about his life. I don't see how I made it through. I must have touched my face with the hankerchief at least fifty times to catch the tears. My voice didn't grow stronger, but shakier as I spoke. Finally it was over, and the service was to begina again out in the graveyard in ten minutes. I sat in my seat as people filed out the door. Chuck never moved, obviously waiting for me. I was grateful for this, I didn't think it would be good for me to be left alone.

I didn't see the last person leave the church, but I felt that we were alone. Chuck placed his hand on my shoulder. "Blair? Are you..." His voice faltered, and I could tell he thought it was stupid to ask if I was all right.

"I don't know. I feel so...lost. Like Nate was a shephard to me, and now I'm just a lost lamb with nowhere to go." I tried not to think of tonight, sleeping all alone in the penthouse. For the past few days ever since Nate died, Serena had been sleeping in the guest room, but she had to go back home at some point. Dorota had been given the day off. She wasn't worried about me going hungry with her not there to cook for me, people had dropped off at least twenty casserole dishes since this morning.

Chuck stood up and held his hand out to me. "I think it's time to go." I nodded, taking his hand and standing up. I paused to swat any stray lint from my dress, then I grasped his arm as we strode outside and made our way to the green tent for the burial.

This part of the funeral was fairly quick, but it was the hardest part for me. When the preist looked to me, Chuck looked at me and whispered "Do you need help walking?" I shook my head and slowly stood up. Step by step, I forced myself to the hole in the ground. I carefully reached to let a handful of dirt fall into it. My hand came up to my mouth as I gasped at the hollow sound of the chucks of dirt hitting Nate's casket. I stood there for a moment and then, realizing that all eyes were on me, I scooped up the hem of my dress and ran for the saftey of the church. Well, ran as fast as my strappy black Louis Vuttons would let me.

I didn't stop running until I had made it to the front pew where Chuck and I had been sitting. There, I collapsed to my knees on the floor, letting the tears that had been burning at my eyelids finally fall and splatter on the deep red carpet. My sobs didn't sound as loud as I though they would in the huge church, and for that I was grateful. I would be mortified if the rest of the people outside were listening to me breaking down. I was so lost in my tears that I didn't notice the door open and slowly close, or the footsteps as they came closer to me.

A hand rested on my back, and I turned. I immediately fell into Chuck's arms as he knelt beside me on the floor. I felt a tear or two of his own fall on my arm, and we wept together.

* * *

**SPOV**

"I feel so sorry for Blair." I smoothed my hair as I grabbed Mom's hand. "We've been friends our entire lives and nothing like this has ever happened to her."

"She'll find her way through it. I'm proud of you for being there for her the way you have been these past few days. She's lucky to have a friend like you." Lily pulled me close and wrapped her arm around my waist. As we walked back to the limos together, I wondered how Blair was doing. I saw Chuck run after her, so I didn't want to intrude.

"Hello, Serena." I looked up just in time to stop myself. "So. Wheres Blair? I'm just dying to see her." Georgina smiled as she tucked a lock of brown hair behind her ear.

**A/N: Finally got it up! I will work on the next chapter tonight, it should be up tonight or tomorrow. **

**Till next time. xoxo**


	4. Boot Revenge

**A/N: ~Warning~ This chapter was written while watching the Grammys. Please get up and dance at random intervals.  
**

* * *

**BPOV**

I don't know how long I lay in Chuck's arms crying, but it felt like forever. The river of tears finally trickled away, and I became conscious of where I was and who I was with. I immediately stood up and dusted my dress off with my hands. "Well, well. What do we have here?" I spun around to see Georgina strutting down the aisle towards us. She turned to Chuck. "I guess she's telling you the real reason she married Nate?"

"What do you know, Georgina!?" My voice echoed back to me, and Georgina laughed at how flipped out I was.

"I know _everything_, Blair." She smiled at me. "And if you don't tell him, I will. Because I'm still pissed at you for getting me sent to boot camp, and I finally found out your dirty little secret. Now I'm ready to show the world. Starting with Lover Boy here."

Chuck looked at me, "Blair? What's going on?" I shook my head.

"I'll tell you what's going on," Georgina said to him. "Nate and Blair got married because she was pregnant and Nate belived it was his. Blair knew it wasn't his, but she went along with it."

"STOP!" I screamed.

"No, Blair. You brought this on yourself! You are the reason I spent years in a boot camp! You know who the father was, Chuck? It wa-"

"NO!" I shreiked and ran. I could barely feel the ground while I ran as fast as I could for the cemetary. I kept running past the small crowd of people still left from the funeral and up the hill. Suddenly, my feet hit a small headstone sticking up from the ground, my head hit something cold and hard, and the world disappered.

* * *

"Blair?" A voice came drifting into my consciousness. I opened my eyes. I was laying in Chuck's arms. "Blair. Are you all right?" I pulled myself up to lean on a headstone and nodded, not looking at his face. "Blair? Can I ask you something?" I nodded, still looking at the ground. He was silent for a few minutes before he spoke, his voice barely a whisper. "Where is my child?"

"I...I...." I stuttered, but Chuck's hand grasped mine and he tilted my head up to meet his eyes.

"Blair, you can tell me. I want to know what happened. Please, Blair."

"I...I'm sorry." My voice wobbled, but once I started talking, I couldn't stop. "I thought you would be angry and after you said all of those hurtful things to me I just couldn't face you so I told Nate that it was his and he trusted me because he didnt know about you and me and he said that his parents would want us to get married and I agreed and we got married but when I was seven months pregnant I started getting worried because I hadn't felt the baby move in over three days and he took me to the hospital and..." I faltered, and Chuck squeezed my hand tighter.

"Blair?"

"His heart had stopped. The doctor said something about a defect. They induced me. I gave birth to a body a few hours later. Nate comforted me for months. I fell in love with him. Not the romantic kind of love, though. The kind of love you share with someone when you go through a tragedy togehter. He was good to me. he took care of me. So I stayed with him. But I never loved him the way I loved you. You didn't want me anymore, you said, so I didn't have any hope that there was anyone else for me but Nate. I know he deserved better, but I took care of him as best I could."

Chuck shook his head. "He was lucky to have you. You were never unfaithful to him even though you didn't love him the way he loved you. That is dedication." Chuck went silent. "So...It was a boy." I nodded. "How did you know he was mine?"

"My doctor told me the conception date on my first appointment. It was the same day that I danced for you at Victrola. Nate and I didn't have sex until a week after that happened. He had to be yours."

"Blair...you could have told me." Chuck's head snapped up. "Wait, but that day you said that you weren't pregnant. But what-"

"I told my doctor. He said that pregnancy tests weren't always accurate, and I probablly took it too soon for it to be accurate. I only took it two days after my missed period."

"I wish you would have told me."

"You were already in Japan by the time I found out."

"I would have come back for you."

"Why? What would you have done?"

"I would have taken care of you."

"Why would you? You made it clear the last conversation we had that night that you didn't want me! You compared me to your dad's WHORES, Chuck! How would I have known that you wouldn't do the same thing if I told you I really was pregnant?"

"Because I loved you and I was too arrogant to admit it!" Chuck's voice raised for the first time, and it scared me more than his words. "There! I said it! I finally told you how I felt when I watched you kissing Nate! I was so jealous I thought I would die! So I moved to Japan and helped my father run the Japan branch of Bass Industries. I had to leave because I loved you and I wasn't going to watch you with someone else, never me!"

I cringed away from him. I had never been good with people yelling. Then I noticed his choice of words. "You said 'loved'. Past tense. You don't anymore," I said, mostly to myself.

"Blair..." His hand pulled my face back to look at his, caressing my jaw. "I still love you." My eyes closed, and I felt his lips on mine.

**Until next time. xoxo**


	5. Drunk Off His Bass

**A/N: I've had a lot of people telling me to leave my story as it is and just ignore the people who have made it clear that if anyone puts a scene from the actual episode, the quotes have to be exact and you can't change them in any way or you will be threatened, put down, called names, and told how stupid you are. Apparently, you aren't allowed to make something your own. So I've decided to delete the entire first half of chapter one and replace it with an AN explaining the time and place and what had just happened. The was a mini story line that I had laced in for Chuck's quote, but that is now not going to be there. I'm deleting the ANs in the previous chapters soley so that no new readers get confused. _This does not mean that I take back anything I said_. I have decided that I am not going to let the horrible people of the world keep me frm doing what makes me me. I am hurt beyond words by the things that some of the people have said. I deleted the anonymous comments because I didn't want to see them every time I looked at my comments. All of the most hateful were anonymous. I hope that all of you can support my decision. I have the original first chapter saved on my comuter, and one day I might change it back to its original state. **

**In light of a recent comment that I got about not liking my long ANs...if you don't like ANs, DONT READ THEM. Noone is forcing you to. And telling me that they are too long only makes me want to write longer ones. =)**

**For any new readers who are confused when I talk about the chapter one issue, please disregard and keep reading.**

**Also, I would like to apoligize. I know noone didn't like the last chapter, but I was upset while writing it and after re-reading it today, my style seemed a little off. For anyone who noticed this, I'm sorry and I assure you that this chapter will be back to normal.  
**

**I would like to note that I was completely hyper when writing this chapter. If you don't like to laugh, you might not want to read this chapter. Also, I'd like you to note the rating change, and beware.  
**

* * *

**CPOV**

"Serena?" I called as I spotted her across the room. I strode to her side. "Serena, have you seen Blair?"

"She's in the bathroom, I think." Serena pointed to the stairs. "She went upstairs, probablly because everyone is hogging the one down here." I nodded, heading for the stairs.

I wanted to talk to Blair and make sure she was all right. She hadn't said a word ever since I kissed her. The ride back to the wake at her penthouse was quiet. On the upper east side, a wake was another reason to have a party. Nate wouldn't have wanted it any other way. He would have wanted his life celebrated with a bang.

Sure enough, the bathroom door upstairs was closed and a sliver of light was streaming under the door. I lifted my hand to lightly knock, but I stopped myself when I heard a sound. I paused to listen, and another retching sound came from behind the door. Quickly, thinking Blair was sick and needed my help, I opened the door. Blair was kneeling in front of the toilet with her finger down her throat. She looked up at me, and her eyes widened. "C-Chuck...I-"

I backed out and closed the door. Quickly, I went back downstairs and into the closet to find my coat. Serena came over to me, sensing somehing was wrong. "Chuck? Where are you going?"

"I dont know. Back to my penthouse."

"Oh...I thought you knew...You can't go back there. There was a pipe above your penthouse that broke, they're still doing repairs to it. You're supposed to be staying here in the guest room."

"Great."

Serena saw my coat and grabbed it. "Chuck, don't leave. Blair wants you here."

I shook my head. "No she doesn't. You should go up there. She needs you." I took my coat from her. "Thanks." I turned from her and waited for the elevator. I didn't know where I would go, but I knew I wanted to get very drunk.

* * *

**BPOV**

I was wiping the tears from my eyes as someone knocked lightly on the door. "Blair? Can I come in?"

"Yeah, Serena." She came in and closed the door behind her, sitting down beside me on the cold tile. "Chuck told you."

"Yes. He left. I don't know where he's going. I told him about his penthouse and he wasn't very happy about that." She took my hand in both of hers, kissing it and then rubbing it. "What happened, Blair?"

"Everything. Losng Nate. Being alone. Having everyone here again. And...I told Chuck...about...about the baby." Serena was the only one who knew the truth, and she kept it to herself. We hadn't talked about it since I told her. Serena nodded.

"I know he has feelings for you."

"He kissed me." I looked down at the floor.

'Wh...what? He kissed you? When?"

"After I told him. He asked me why I didn't tell him the truth, and I said that he had already left. he asked why I thought he wouldn't come back and I asked him why I should have thought he would, and he said that he loved me, and he kissed me."

"Is that what you want?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I dont know. I just buried my husband. I don't know what I want."

"Why did you make yourself throw up, Blair?"

I was quiet for a minute. "Because I can't handle all of this." A tear slid down my cheek, and I swatted it away.

"Oh, Blair." Serena pulled me in a hug. "You know I'll be here for you. As long as you need me. If you need me to, I can stay another night. I'll sleep on the couch since Chuck's in the guest room." I shook my head.

"No, you've been here the past four days. You need to be with your family. I'll be fine. I can call you if I need you."

"Well, at least come back down to the party." Serena stood up, holding her hand out to me. I took it and we went arm in arm back downstairs.

* * *

It was 2AM, half of the people were still in the living room, and Chuck still hadn't come back. I pulled Serena to the side. "Did Chuck tell you where he was going?"

"No. My guess would be Victrola." I nodded in agreement.

"I'm going to find him." I said, grabbing my coat. I strode over to the elevator, punching on the button. The door dinged open, and I dropped my coat on the floor. "Chuck!" I ran into the elevator, pressing the "Doors Open" button, and knelt down to Chuck, who was slumped on the floor. He smelled of scotch and perfume, obviously drunk.

"Blair." He said simply, his voice slurred horribly.

"Chuck, come on. Let's get you upstairs." I grabbed his arm, pulling him up despite his protests. I motioned to Serena to help me, and she grabbed his other arm. "Serena, get him upstairs before the guests notice.

"Mmm. Don't worry, ladies. I can handle both of you." Chuck said as the three of us akwardly stumbled to the stairs. Chuck's hand went down to my hip, but I swatted it away.

"Chuck, you're drunk."

"Yes, I'm drunk!" Chuck raised his voice, and I knew everyone was looking at the three of us halfway up the stairs. "What are YOU gonna do about it? You're a STALE MARSHMALLOW." Serena started chuckling at the magnitude of his drunkeness.

"Chuck, come on," I said, tugging on his arm.

"You wanna FIGHT me?" he said. "I'll eat you with a GRAHAM CRACKER!" Serena started cracking up, and I couldn't help but snicker. We finally made it to the top of the stairs.

"Are we taking him to the guest room?" Serena asked.

"No, I can't hold him for much longer. Put him on my bed." Serena nodded, and we wrestled him into my room. He collapsed onto my bed. I turned to Serena. "I'll take him from here. I don't want to leave him, he's so drunk he could hurt himself. Could you go downstairs and get everyone to leave?"

"Will do. I'll come back in the morning." Serena left, closing the door behind her, and I turned back to Chuck.

"Guess it's you and me now, huh?" He slurred at me, raising his head to squint at me.

"Come on, Chuck." I grabbed him and sat him up, unbuttoning his shirt to get him down to his pants and in bed.

"Are you trying to start something? Because you have to take your clothes off, too," He said as I threw his shirt across the room.

"Chuck, come on, just get in bed." I pulled him up to rest his head on the pillow and gently laid the covers on top of him. His eyes closed, and I figured it was safe for me to change.

I walked into my closet and pulled the door shut behind me. I tossed my dress to the ground and pulled on a silk cami and matching boy short bottoms. I walked back out and slid into bed beside Chuck. I thought he was asleep until his arm snaked around my waist and pulled me to him. He buried his nose in my hair as I swiped his hand away. "Come on, Chuck, stop it. Go to sleep."

"Mmmm, not until I sleep with you."

"Well, go to sleep, and then I will go to sleep, and then you _will_ be sleeping with me." I snapped back. He brought his arm around me again and, before I could react, he pulled me onto my back and rolled so that he was on top of me. I pushed at his shoulders. "Chuck, stop it." He leaned down and kissed my neck. I pushed harder, but he was too strong for me. "Chuck, you're drunk, stop."

"Mmmm...I'm drunk for you..." He wispered in my ear before nibbling on it.

"Chuck....stop...please..." My voice got more frantic as his hand dipped down to touch the top edge of my panties.

He shook his head. "No. I know you want this. You've been deprived for four years. You think I don't know you want this? Why else would you have brought me in here?

I shoved him again to no avail. "Because I couldn't drag your drunk Bass all the way to the guest room." He shook his head again.

"Because you want me." His hands pulled my panties down despite my fighting. I was frantic as he started fumbling with his pants, pulling them off quicker than I imagined, probablly from years of practice. His hand began trailing up my thigh.

"Chuck, please don't." His hand came closer and closer to my entrance. He was right; I did want him, just not like this. Not when he was drunk. Not after his best friend's funeral, my husband's funeral. And not with a bunch of people downstairs. I grabbed his wrist trying to pull it away, but his other hand whipped across my face.

"Don't fight, whore!" Chuck's voice filled my large bedroom echoing off the walls. I froze in shock and fear. My hand came up to touch my cheek where my skin still burned from his slap. My eyes began to fill with tears as his hard member began searching for my entrance. He finally found his mark as he thrust into me. I bit my lip to keep from crying out. I hadn't been ready, but his precum had lubricated him enough to slide in without tearing me, although it still hurt. "Ohhhhh." Chuck let his breath out as he paused inside me, savoring the sensation. He opened his eyes and leaned down to my ear. "Is it good for you, too, slut?" He began roughly thrusting in and out of me, each time the pain was less.

I turned my head to the side, unable to watch or fight as he violated my body. "He's drunk. He doesn't know it's me anymore." I thought to myself. I prayed that it was true.

He picked up speed, moaning louder. "Mmm...mmm....OHHHHH, GOD!" He screamed, and I felt his release inside me. He was silent with pleasure as he emptied into me. Then, finally, he rolled off of me and collapsed beside me.

I stayed still for a long time, unable to make myself move. When Chuck began to snore, I slid out of the bed. I looked around for my dark blue silk robe and found it laying on the back of my chair. I put it on and quickly hurried into my adjoining bathroom. My legs were shaking as I closed the door, and I sat down, afraid that I would fall. My head began to spin as my mind tried to process what had just happened. I remembered that there was Xanex in the cabnet above my sink. I stood up and immediately regretted it. The room began spinning as I placed my hands on the sides of my sink. I saw myself swaying in the mirror. The last thing I knew, my head was hitting the floor.

* * *

**A/N: I felt that the chapter had to end here, but I'm working on the next chapter immediately after I post this and make the adjustments to the previous chapters as I had mentioned in the above AN. For obvious reasons, I had to change the rating. I wanted to keep it at T because it would be viewable to everyone instead of the people who select "all ratings' or 'M rating", but I don't think that I would be able to get away with it. Sorry for the people who don't like lemons, but these are the types of stories I write.**

**I'd like to apoligize to the people who didn't have a problem with chapter 1 the way it was. I just can't deal with the horrible comments that I have been getting about one freaking line. I'd like to apoligize to any new readers who never got to appreciate chapter one the way I meant it to be. I'd like to thank all of the people who put me down, told me I was wrong when you never once considered the fact that I MEANT to have the line the way it was, told me to get my hearing checked, told me I needed to have my son taken away if I was the type of person to use that kind of language, told me that I was the worst writer they had ever read, or told me that I should kill myself. I'd like to thank you, because you are exactly the type of people that I hope go through the exact same thing as I do. I hope that someone says something as mean and hurtful and judgemental as you have to me, and I hope it kills you inside just as it has me. I'd like to thank you for making me realize that people like you are as insignifigant as dust. **

**I hope everyone liked the breif comic relief in this chapter ("You're a stale MARSHMALLOW! You wanna fight me? I'll eat you with a GRAHAM CRACKER!") to offset the last scene. I was extremely hyper last night and I said the same thing, and I had to include it here. **

**Next chapter to come soon. Until next time. xoxo  
**


	6. The Morning After Pill

**A/N: I know that I suprised some of you with my last chapter - I suprised myself! I don't really have a destination with this story (I never have destinations with any of my fanfictions) so I'm making up most of this as I go. I write better when I don't confine myself to a line. I've got a few ideas for the story, but nothing solid. I'm sorry that I had to change the rating for those of you who dont like M rated fics, but that's what I've been writing for a while, and it's my comfort zone. **

**ilovecujo1993: Don't worry, i never knew what 'lemon' meant until I asked in a comment either. It means a sex scene. It's just fanfiction slang, like calling bad comments 'flames' and random chapters 'fluff". No question is stupid unless you refuse to ask it!**

**I hope that this chapter is as good as the last. I'm feeling a lot better about my writing now that the bashing comments have stopped. I promise to only make my story better from here!**

* * *

**CPOV**

My eyes were still closed. I was afraid that if I opened them, the trobbing in my head would only get worse. I concentrated on my body. I was laying on my back on something soft, a bed maybe, too comfortable to be a couch. I could feel sheets at my thigh, which I must have kicked down at some point. I tried to think back to what I remembered about the night before. I had gone to Victrola...saw Grant there, and had a few shots with him...whiskey, maybe...I couldn't remember leaving. Why had I gone there?...Blair. I didn't want to think about it anymore. I carefully opened my eyes, thankfully to a dark room. I looked around and recognized it as Blair's bedroom. I was in her bed, alone, and naked. As I pulled the sheet quickly over my limp rod, I began to wonder if I had undressed myself and if anyone else had seen me in my drunk and naked state.

I carefully stood up, taking the sheet with me and securing it around my waist. My head started throbbing harder. Blair had to have something for a headache in her bathroom. I walked over and opened the door - and saw Blair crumpled on the ground. All thoughts of my hangover left as I quckly pulled her limp form into my sheet-covered lap. "Blair!" I said, shaking her a bit. I placed my fingers to her neck and her pulse throbbed back at me. "Blair!" I said again. "God, what happened to you?" I picked her up in my arms, taking her back into the bedroom, and placed her gently on the bed. She moaned just slightly. "Blair? Blair. Blair, wake up, please." I took her cold hand as I laid on my side next to her. She moaned again, louder this time, her head rolling to the side. Almost like she was having a bad dream. I scooped her back into my arms. "Blair. Blair, wake up."

"No," She whispered in her sleep, her head flopping again. "No." Louder this time. "No, stop."

"Blair, I'm right here, just open your eyes. I've got you."

"No. No, stop!" She began thrashing as I struggled to keep her in my arms. "Stop! NO!" Her eyes snapped open, looking around frantically. The moment her eyes locked with mine, she scrambled out of my lap and practically threw herself into the empty corner of the room, landing with a thump against the wall.

"Blair?" I slowly stepped toward her.

"St-stay aw-way from m-m-me," she said, huddled shaking in the corner, her arms wrapped around her legs.

"Blair, it's me. It's Chuck." I knelt in fron to her, trying to catch her eyes. "Blair?" I reached out to touch her hand, and she flinched away. "Blair? What's wrong? What happened?" She shook her head jerkily, and I could see tears rolling down her cheeks.

I obviously wasn't getting to her. I grabbed my phone from the table and began texting. "Serena. Blair's going crazy. Need your help, fast. Chuck" Not five seconds passed before my phone buzzed. "I'm on my way up." I tossed my phone to the side. I didn't know what to do. Blair had put her head down in her shaking arms, and I heard her wimpering.

Finally, I heard footsteps come to the door. It opened, and Serena strode in. Blair looked up at her. "Blair?" Serena asked tenetively.

"Serena!" Blair jumped up and hurled her tiny frame into Serena's arms, crying harder and grasping at every piece of Serena she could reach.

"Blair, Blair, It's okay! It's all right! I'm right here!" Serena held the frantic Blair as tight as she could.

"Oh, God, Serena, I couldn't stop it! I kept trying but I couldn't stop it!" Blair started bawling, and Serena dragged her to the bed.

As Serena passed me, she whispered to me, "Chuck, are you naked under that sheet?"

"Yes, and I dont know how. I don't remember anything about last night. I woke up in Blair's bed alone and naked. I went in the bathroom to get something for my hangover and she was on the floor unconscious. I put her on the bed and tried to wake her up and she started screaming." Serena nodded at me.

"Blair? Blair, do you know where you are?" Serena asked, and Blair nodded. "Blair, do you know what happened to you?" Blair nodded again. "Can you tell us?" Serena asked, and I reached out and grabbed Blair's hand in support.

"NO! NO!" Blair 's hand shot out of mine. "Stop! Not him!"

Serena looked at me. "Serena, I swear I don't know what happened. I don't know what I did or didn't do."

"I believe you," Serena said, "because I helped Blair drag your drunk ass up here. But I need you to leave the room, so that Blair will talk to me. Go downstairs and tell Dorota to make Blair some broth. By the time you bring it up, I'll have her calmed. I promise, Chuck."

I leaned dwn to whisper in Serena's ear. "I love her. Please help her." Serena nodded, and I forced myself to walk away.

* * *

**SPOV**

As soon as the door clicked shut, I saw Blair's body relax. Something was happened to Blair, and I had no doubt in my mind that it had to do with Chuck. I knew that he would never intentionally hurt her, but last night he was so drunk that I don't think he would have known he was hurting her. I took up Blair's hands and kissed each of them. "He's gone, Blair. Can you tell me what happened?"

Blair nodded and looked up at me. "I t-tried to help h-him into the b-bed. I took his shirt off so that he would be c-c-comfortable. He thought I was trying s-s-something with him. He pulled my pants off. I tried to stop him, but he hit me...he called me a slut, and a whore. I d-don't...I don't think he knew who I was." Blair dropped her head.

"So he raped you."

Blair shook her head. "No. He didn't rape me. I wasn't _me_ to him. I was someone else, some random girl. After he hit me, I gave up."

"Are you mad at him?"

Blair paused for a moment, thinking it over. "No. I'm afraid, though. When I opened my eyes and saw him, I thought it was still happening." My heart broke for her. I pulled her to my chest in a tight hug. She pulled away. "After he went to sleep, I went in the bathroom to take medicine to help calm me down, but I got really dizzy. What happened?"

"Chuck said that he woke up and went in the bathroom and you were passed out. He brought you in here..."

"And thats when I woke up," Blair whispered, more to herself than to me.

"Chuck went to get you some broth. Do you think you can try it?" Blair nodded. "He should be back any min-" Before I could finish, there was a light knock on the door, and it opened a crack.

"Do you mind if I come in? I've got her broth." Chuck said, peeking in at us.

I opened my mouth, but Blair spoke first. "Yes, Chuck. Please come in." Her voice was weak and high, but Chuck heard it and he entered carrying a tray with a bowl of steaming broth, which smelled like chicken broth from the aroma that filled the room, a glass of ice water, and a vase with a single white rose in it. He kicked the door closed behind him and I flicked on the bedside light and moved to make room for the tray. I looked at Blair, and her eyes were following Chuck's every move. I took her hand and placed it in my lap to let her know that I was here for her.

Chuck tenatively approached the bed and slowly set the tray beside Blair and backed away as if she was a tiger that could strike at any moment. Blair chuckled, and I could hear the force behind it. "So did Dorota ask about you choice of attire?" She asked, pointing to the sheet that was still hanging around his waist. I could tell she was trying very hard to make the conversation light, and I squeezed her hand in support.

Chuck shook his head. "She looked at me funny and I just told her not to ask." Blair nodded and patted the bed beside us in gesture for him to sit. He sat slowly, either in fear of Blair or of shaking the tray and spilling broth on her bed. It was silent for a few minutes while Blair sipped at her broth with her spoon. Finally Chuck broke the silence. "So. What did I do this time?"

The spoon slipped from Blair's hand and landed on the tray with a clatter. "Chuck," I warned.

"No, S. It's okay. He doesn't remember." I squeezed Blair's hand tighter.

"Serena," Chuck looked at me, "What did I do to her?"

"You raped her."

"No," Blair said firmly, "He didn't. He didn't know it was me."

"What?" Chuck asked, obviously confused.

"She tried to get you in bed, you thought she was making a pass at you, she tried to push you off, you slapped her, called her a whore, and..." Blair glared at me, and I rethought my words. "Okay, you_ used_ her body. There, Blair, you happy?" Blair nodded once and looked back at Chuck, whose jaw was slack.

"I...I...What.....but....Blair, I would never purposefully hurt you. You know that, right?"

Blair nodded. "That wasn't you last night. You were drunk."

"That's no excuse for my behavior. I've been drunk and never raped someone before."

"Actually," I chirped, "You tried to rape Jenny Humphrey in Junior year and you weren't even drunk."

Chuck smirked at me. "Yeah, but I didn't, did I? It was just another game. And that was a long time ago."

"I didn't know that you were talking about a certain time frame."

"Drop it, sis."

"Ugh! I hate it when you call me that! Just because I'm your sister BY MARRAGE doesn't mean-"

Blair's laughter cut off our bickering, which made me and Chuck laugh. "You guys are hilarious. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you two _were_ siblings."

"I sure hope there's nothing I dont know," I said. "I'm going to have to talk to Mom when I get home...make sure you realy aren't my brother."

We got silent for a bit before Chuck spoke. "It makes sence now," he whispered.

"What?" Blair asked.

"That you were scared of me. That when Serena walked in the room, you clung to her like she saved your life or something."

Blair shook her head. "I didn't know what was going on. When I woke up and saw you...I thought it was still happening. When I saw Serena, I knew she was real, and I knew that she would save me and stop what was going on. It wasn't until later that I realised what actually happened."

"Are you scared of me now?" Chuck reached out to touch Blair, and she flinched. "You are. It doesn't matter that I didn't know it was you, I'm still a monster in your eyes."

"No!" Blair exclaimed, turning her body to face him completely. "Chuck, that was completely involuntary! I know you're fine now and you wouldn't hurt me." Chuck shook his head, and Blair slid out of bed, walking to stand in front of him. "I'm not afraid of you." She put her arms around his shoulders and pulled herself to him. He sat there for a minute and then slowly wrapped his arms around her.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it took me a little longer than I planned to get this chapter up. I wrote the bulk of it yesterday, but I didn't get to finish it up until this morning. It's a very intense chapter, and I liked writing it. This story is darker than I orignally thought it would be, but I'm glad people like it. Keep the comments coming and I'll keep the chapters flowing.**

**Until next time. xoxo  
**


	7. Lights Out

**A/N: Well, no comments on my last chapter yet. I'm thinking of changing it back to T with a warning in the summary. I just don't like that everyone can't see it. More people would have the chance to read it. **

**I'd also like to point out that the entire backstory line (with the exception of anything Chuck and Blair) has gone on just as it has in Gossip Girl. Bart is dead, Lily is married to Rufus, etc. I just wanted to make sure it was clear in case anyone was confused.  
**

**I hope that everyone is enjoying this story. I know I'm having fun writing it. I've got a lot of ideas floating around in my head for upcoming chapters, and if you have any ideas that you would like to share, I'd be happy to hear them.  
**

* * *

**BPOV**

Serena was reluctant to leave, but I assured her I was all right. "I promiced Mom that I would be home in time for breakfast. Eric said he had an announcement he wanted to make. I think I have an idea but I'm not sure -"

"S, I'm fine. Just go. I'll text if I need you," I assured her. She nodded and I blew her a kiss as she walked out the door.

"You should finish your broth before it gets cold," Chuck said, gesturing to the half-empty bowl.

I shook my head. "It helped settle my stomach, thank you, but I'm starving and I need something more substantial. Care to come with me and see what you and I can manage to find in the kitchen?" Chuck nodded and stood, headed for the door. I cleared my throat. "Uhm, At least put these on." I threw his boxers at him, and turned aound to let him change.

"Always the modest one," he murmered.

"Hey, I heard that!" I said, spinning around just in time to see him tuck his length into the boxers. I averted my eyes ten seconds too late. "I'm sorry."

He walked over and put his hand on my shoulder. "It's okay. It doesn't matter. Let's get you fed." I followed him down into the kitchen. The counters were covered with casserole pots and leftover food from the wake. I opened the fridge and pulled out a tray of finger sandwiches and set them on the corner of the island in front of two stools. Chuck and I sat, and I grabbed a a ham-mayo-pickle roll and stuffed it in my mouth. My stomach growled at me. I was hungrier than I thought.

"Can I ask why you left?" I asked quickly.

Chuck was quiet. "I wanted to get out. I thought you were sick, but when I came in the bathroom and saw you were making yourself sick, and I remembered how quiet you had been after I kissed you...I just put together the pieces."

"Chuck, no, you don't understand..." I took a deep breath. Serena was the only person she had ever told. "I've been bulemic for a long time. Since my dad left, actually. I've been getting better for a long time. Yesterday, everything was just piling on me and I couldn't control it. I thought I could handle it, but I couldn't. It wasn't just losing Nate, it was the fact that I was all alone again and I had to face all those people, not to mention Georgina, and having to tell you about the baby...I just couldn't handle it all. My eating and my throwing up are the only things I could control."

"Blair," Chuck said, turning to face me, "I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I know I shouldn't have assumed like that, I just didn't know what else to think." He grabbed m hand and help it in both of his. "If there's anything I can do to help you with anything, I'll do it."

I nodded. "Thank you, Chuck. That's very kind of you."

Chuck opened his mouth, but closed it when Dorota came shuffling in. "Mister Chuck, bad news. Your flight back to Japan cancelled by big snowstorm headed for New York tonight. You have to stay more nights."

"Thank you, Dorota. I didn't know there was supposed to be a blizzard tonight," he said. I nodded to confirm, since I remembered catching a glimpse of the news yesterday morning. Chuck looked at me as Dorota shuffled out. "I can have my father's private jet fly me back if you don't want me to stay."

I shook my head. "No, I want you to stay. I wouln't mind the company. I'm not used to being alone yet. Serena has stayed here since...since Nate."

"I just want you to be sure that you're okay with me staying here."

"I'm fine. Promice," I said, popping another piece of sandwich in my mouth. "You can help me get through dinner tonight. Serena and her family have invited me for dinner, and you have to come with me. I don't think I can sit through dinner listening to stories about Nate without having someone to help keep me grounded. Would you?"

"Of course, Blair." He smiled at me, and it melted my heart.

* * *

"Blair, Charles, it's so good to see you again. We're having Chinese tonight, I hope you don't mind, Charles. I know you've had a lot of similar food in Japan."Chuck shook his head and Lily ushered us into the dining room and gestured to the two empty seats for us to sit. "Charles, how have you been? We didn't get much of a chance to talk yesterday."

"I've been fine, thank you, Lily. Tokyo is an amazing place, although I've missed New York ever since I left."

"Why did you leave? It was so sudden!" Lily asked.

"I wanted to help my father. The old manager of the Japan branch of Bass was retiring and my dad was having trouble finding a replacement."

"Why did you continue there after you became CEO?" Rufus asked as he put a piece of chicken in his mouth.

"I enjoyed the work and the culture there. It was so different from here, but still the same. I've been thinking of coming back to the city to work in the main office for a while, but I've never really acted on it."

"Oh Charles, you should. We miss having you around," Lily said, and Serena and I shared smiles across the table.

I turned to Eric. "So Serena told me you had a big announcement at breakfast this morning?"

Eric nodded, a smile breaking out on his face. "Yes, I did. Johnathan and I are going to have a commitment ceremony. In other words, we're getting married. We're going to his parent's place in Iowa, and it's legal for us to get married there."

"Oh, Eric! I'm so happy for you! Congratulations!" I exclaimed. "Oh, you have to let me give you the numbers for Brenda, she's the wedding planner from Nate and my wedding..." My voice faltered. I hadn't meant to mention Nate, but there was no taking it back now. I could at lease avoid the subject. "And I can call my mother and have her design your outfits and everything!" I exclaimed, throwing myself back into the conversation with more force than was necessary.

"That would be lovely, Blair, thank you. And I appreciate your support," Eric said, smiling at me.

I smiled back at him. "Anything for my best friend's brother. I'm so glad you're happy."

"You have my full support and the support of Bass Industries behind you. I'd also like for you to take the jet for your honeymoon," Chuck said.

Eric's eyes lit up. "Thank you very much, Chuck. I can't wait to tell Johnathan, he'll be thrilled."

The conversation ceased as everyone chewed on their vegetarian egg rolls. I could tell that Serena and Eric were going to ignore the big elephant in the room that was Nate. However, I knew that Humphrey wouldn't be able to keep well enough alone. "How are you holding up, Blair?" Rufus asked, grabbing another bite of cold sesame noodles with his chopsticks.

"I'm holding, thanks," I said. Chuck grabbed my hand underneath the table and held it tightly. I prayed that it would be the end of it.

"I hate that things like this have to happen. Nate was such a sweet boy," Lily said. "I always liked him, he had such nice manners...Serena, remember the time that you had went to that party in Nate's limo and you left your phone in the limo, and I had called you, and he answered..." I couldn't listen anymore. I thought I could make it through a few comments, but I couldn't take a trip down memory lane. I squeezed Chuck's hand and he knew.

Chuck cleared his throat politely. "I'm sorry Lily, but we really should be going. I'd like to get Blair back to her home before the bulk of the snowstorm gets here."

Lily nodded. "Yes, it's supposed to get very bad. There's lots of bad reports out west. You should go. I'm sorry you can't stay longer," Lily said, following us to the elevator.

"Thank you for the lovely meal, Lily. It was wonderful." Chuck said as he guided me into the elevator. I waved goodbye as the doors blissfully slid shut.

* * *

"God, I thought I was going to pass out when they started talking about Nate." I said to Chuck while shrugging out of my jacket.

"You did fine. I'm proud of you for getting through it." He touched my shoulder gently and let his hand drop.

I looked at the window. "Wow, it's snowing so hard! That wind is brutal!" The huge snowflakes were falling almost completely to the side.

"Well, I guess I'm going to go up and catch up on some work and then I'll turn in," Chuck said.

"Yeah, I think a nice hot bath and bed would be good for me." We walked up the stairs and I paused at my bedroom door. "I'll see you downstairs for breakfast." Chuck nodded, and I closed my bedroom door behind me. I walked into my bathroom and turned on the water. I fumbled for the zipper at the back of my dress until it fell to the ground. I took off my stockings, and laid my pearl necklace on the vanity.

Once the tub was filled, I turned the water off and lowered myself in. The heat of the water relaxed my sore muscles as I leaned back. I closed my eyes and tried to clear all thoughts from my head, but I couldn't get the feel of Chuck's hand on mine out of my mind. I opened my eyes to look at the clock, but as I did, a loud 'beep' sounded, the room went black, and I screamed at the top of my lungs.

* * *

**CPOV**

I was sorting through the papers in my briefcase when the power went out. Blair's scream echoed to me, and I pulled my phone out of my pocket and turned it on to dimly light my way as I ran to her bedroom.

I threw open the door to her bathroom. "Blair? Are you all right? Where are you?"

"Over here. In the tub." Her voice squeaked in front of me, and I turned my phone up to her face. The light reflected off the surface and lit up her face, which was scrunched in fear. "Can you throw me my towel? On your right." I felt the towel, and I threw it to her, she caught it, and gracefully stood up while covering her body with the towel so that I saw nothing. She walked over to her cabinet and opened it, taking a small box of matches out. She lit the candle at the edge of the counter and handed the rest to me. "There's some candles in my room. Could you light them for me?" I nodded, shutting the door behind me to let her get dressed.

Slowly, I found each candle in her room and lit them. The room was filled with a soft orange glow putting out just enough light to see. As I finished, Blair came into the room in a long, white silk nightgown. Her caramel curls were spilling over her shoulders. "Thank you." She took the book of matches from me and placed them on the bedside table.

"I'm sorry for bargin in, I just heard you scream, I had to come and make sure you were okay," I said softly.

"No, thank you for that." Blair chuckled "I've got a teeny fear of the dark. If you hadn't come, I'd be frozen in that tub until the power came back on."

"Blair Waldorf, afraid of the dark." I was careful not to say 'Archibald', even though she kept her last name. "Who would've thought. I should probably get back to my room." I turned and I didn't have my hand on the doorknob before Blair spoke.

"You don't have to go," she whispered. I turned to her. She came up to me, and my hand came up to caress her face carefully. She stood on her tiptoes and her lips met mine. I put my hand on the small of her back and pulled her close as her arms wrapped around my neck. Her tounge began exploring my mouth, and I felt myself growing hard. Her hands slid down to the front of my shirt, and I felt her small hands fumbling with the buttons.

I whispered in her ear, "Blair, we don't have to do this."

"It's okay. I want to." She whispered, pulling my shirt off. my hand slid the strp of the nightgown off of her shoulder, and I leaned down to kiss it. Her hands pulled me to the bed.

I was on top of her, and she was looking up at me. "Blair, I want you to be sure." She nodded, and took her hand to grasp my hardness through my pants. A groan came up from my chest, and I began to pull her nightgown over her head. She took my belt off, and I used my hand to take my pants off. She wasn't wearing a bra, and only a lacy pair of undies. I slid them down her legs and began rubbing her clit, and Blair began mewling at the sensation. She took her legs and wrapped them around my hips, pulling me closer to her.

"Blair..." I said, hesitating.

"Chuck, I need you," she breathed, and that was enough for me. I slowly pushed my way into her entrance, not stopping until I was fully sheathed in her. A deep purr rumbled in Blair's chest as her eyes rolled back. I began pumping myself in and out of her, and each time Blair's moans grew louder.

I was growing closer to my climax and I knew Blair was, too. Her walls were tightening around me, and my hand drifted down to rub her clit again, which sent her over the edge. "Oh god, Chuck!" The sound of her sweet voice screaming my name sent me into my own climax, and I moaned her name as I came inside her.

As my climax came to an end, I rolled to lay down beside her, my arms wrapping sround her waist. Her fingers laced with mine and she nuzzled closer. "I love you, Blair." She smiled up at me, closing her eyes, and we both fell into a deep sleep in each other's arms.

* * *

**A/N: Heck yes! I loved writing this chapter, and not just because of the lemon. In my opinion, it was the best chapter yet. **

**Fanfiction is freaking me out. I came back and it said that I had 34 comments instead of 33, but there isn't a new comment and I've been checking for four hours! Weirdness.**

**I love comments, don't ya know? I write better if I get feedback, and I'm more inspired to write, so please tell me what you think!**

**Until next time. xoxo  
**


	8. On A Jet Plane

**A/N: I'm enjoying writing this story so much. I'm so into it. I've read the whole thing over and over, and I'm the one who wrote it. Part of me wishes that there was a story like mine that I could read, but I'm so glad that I'm the one writing it. Does anyone else feel that way about their stories? Or am I just crazy?**

**I'm sorry for not updating in a while. I finally got a job, and I have a crush, and my life is a bit hectic right now. I lost my writing muse for a bit, but now I'm back. I won't be able to update as often as I used to, but I'm not quitting yet.  
**

* * *

**BPOV**

I wasn't sure if it was morning or night when I woke up. My room was dark from the closed drapes, and I couldn't tell if there was any light behind them. Chuck was awake as well, but he hadn't left. His hand was draped on my waist, and I turned my head to look at him. He was propped up on his elbow, looking down at me. "What are you doing?" I asked, blushing.

"Watching you sleep," he said, smiling down at me.

I streached my arms and looked around for the clock. No luck telling what time it was, as it was blinking. I rolled out of bed and lifted the side of the curtain to peer outside. It was bright, traffic was streaming, and no snow was falling. Chuck laughed and, realizing I was still naked, I grabbed the light pink robe from my chair and tied it on.

"You're going to have to put on more than that." Chuck said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I made reservations for an early dinner. It's two in the afternoon, so you might want to get into something less comfortable. The reservation is in two hours, and I know how long it takes you to get ready." Chuck smiled, and I groaned.

"Then get out of my room." I said, yanking the covers off of him to expose his body to the cool air. "I suggest running if you don't want Dorota to see more than she needs to." Chuck hopped up and sprinted out of the room, leaving me to laugh at the sight.

It took me almost as long as he said, but I finally managed to comb the tangles from my hair and make myself look presentable. Chuck was waiting at the bottom of the stairs as I decended down in my periwinkle blue knee-length dress, which draped off of my shoulders and tightened to a short sleeve on my arms. My Prada boots clicked faintly. Chuck nodded at me, and I grabbed my coat from the closet. We stepped into the elevator, and he was silent.

"So, may I ask where we are going?"

"You'll find out soon," he said cryptically, which annoyed me. He took my arm and guided me to the limo, helping me in. He slid in behind me and shut the door.

The ride was quiet, and for some reason this fact freaked me out. I had a feeling that I shouldn't have agreed to this, and I didn't know why. I had a feeling in my gut that something was going to happen. I didn't have time to fully contemplate this fact before the limo stopped in front of a building. Chuck opened the door, got out, and held his hand out for me to take. I stood up, and looked at where we were. It was a resteraunt called Shang, where my father had taken me for my birthday two years ago.

Once we were seated, I began to get uncomfortable again. "Chuck, what's going on?"

"Well, Blair, there is something I wanted to talk to you about." He looked away from me, and to the waiter who was approaching the table.

"Are you ready to order, or would you like a minute?" the waiter asked. Chuck looked at me, and I shook my head.

"I'll take the sushi and sashimi platter, and tea." The waiter nodded at me, and turned to Chuck.

"Um, tea, the winter roll and a sushi, please." Chuck turned back to me as the waiter left. He was quiet, and didn't speak until after the waiter had come back with our tea and platters. I took a bite of sushi when he finally spoke. "Blair, I know that all of this has been difficult for you, and I know that what I am about to ask you is a lot for you to take, but I assure you that I wouldn't ask if it wasn't absolutely necessary." I swallowed my mouthful of sushi, and the feeling in the pit of my stomach grew worse. "I got a call this morning while you were asleep. Bass Industries has been working toward a very large and important merger with Yang and Company for a few months, and it's going to close within the next few days. They need me back in the Japan branch, and they need me flying tonight." He leaned forward, touching my hand. "If I were to go back, I would have to stay for several months. Now, I can manage all of this from the New York office, but I would have to permanently move back here, what with the transition after the merger being so long."

My heart sped up, and the air seemed to be rushing from the room. "What are you saying, Chuck?"

"What I mean to say is..." Chuck stroked my hand with his thumb, "if you want me to stay, I'll stay." Suddenly, my breath caught in my chest. whatever air there was within fifty feet had vanished. The lights seemed too bright. The voices of the people around us got louder in my ears until I couldn't stand it.

I stood quickly. "I'm sorry, I-I need to go to the ladies room." My feet hurried to the restrooms, and I slammed the stall door closed behind me. I began gasping for air as though I had been holding my breath since he began speaking. My thoughts were spinning so fast in my head that I couln't make out one single thought. I didn't know what I could say to Chuck. I wanted to tell him to stay. I wanted to tell him I loved him. But there was that small part of me that drifted back to the last day he hurt me."I don't want you anymore. I can't see why anyone else would." His words rang in my ears.

I slowly stepped out of the stall, crossing to the sinks. I tucked a stray curl behind my ear, took a deep breath, and walked back to the table. Chuck was looking down, fiddling with his napkin, his brow furrowed. He looked up in suprise when I sat down. "Has the check come yet?" I asked.

He nodded. "I already paid. Do you want to leave?"

"Yes, please. It's a bit hot in here." I quickly stood, walking out to the limo and practically throwing myself in. Chuck slowly got in behind me, and the limo took off as soon as he closed the door. Neither one of us spoke. I didn't know what to say. I just sat and watched the lights pass by. Finally, the limo came to a halt, but Chuck didn't open the door. He turned to look at me.

"Blair..."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

Chuck was silent for a moment, and then spoke softly. "Okay. I understand." He opened the door and got out, only this time he walked away without offering his hand. I sat, unable to move. I had hurt him, possiblly worse than he had hurt me. I only knew of one thing I could do, one place I could go to figure this out.

* * *

"Blair, I'm so sorry that all of this is happening," Serena said, taking my hands and putting them in her lap. "I can't imagine how you must feel."

"I don't even know how I feel, S. I'm so confused that I don't know where to begin."

"B, do you love him?"

I looked up at her. "What?"

"Do you love him?"

"Yes," I said. "That's the only thing I'm sure of right now."

Serena nodded, standing up. "Then that's all you need to know." She pulled her phone out and began dialing. She paused for a minute to listen, then hung up. "Straight to voicemail." She dialed another number. "Dorota! Is Chuck there?...How long ago?...Thank you so much, Dorota" Serena stood up and pulled me to the elevator.

"Serena, what are you doing?!"

"I'm helping you stop Chuck. He left for his jet fifteen minutes ago. We're taking my limo, my driver has clearance to the Bass hangar." Serena punched at the button on the elevator. I took deep breaths. Serena helped me, and now I was sure of what I was going to do. We ran for the limo together, and Serena pushed me in. I picked myself up from the limo floor as Serena slammed the doo shut and yelled at the driver. "The Bass jet, and step on it!" He nodded in the mirror, and the limo began to move. My foot tapped against the doorframe, and Serena bounced in her seat. After a few minutes, Serena yelled again. "Come on! Let's go! My best friend's heart is at stake here!"

"We're pulling up now, ma'am." The driver said. Serena opened the door before the limo had completely stopped, pulling me with her. The jet was boosting up, and a man with a breifcase was putting his foot on the first step to the jet.

"Chuck!" I yelled. The man turned, and I began to run. My feet were flying, taking me faster than I had ever run before.

In a movie, he would have started running as well. We would have met in the middle and kissed and forgotten everything. But this wasn't a movie, and I ended up skidding to a stop in front of him. I looked up into his eyes. His face was cold and detatched. "Come to see me off?" he asked.

"No, Chuck. Stay. With me. Please."

"Why should I?" His words began to tear at my heart, but I was determined. Even if I had to bend down and cling to his feet, I would get him to stay.

"Because I love you, Chuck." I didn't need to cling to his feet, because at these words he scooped my face in his hands and pressed his lips against mine with pure passion. My hands twisted in his hair, desperate to hold him as close to me as possible. His lips released mine, and he looked down at me.

"I love you, Blair." Tears began welling up in my eyes as I pressed myself into his embrace. "Shut her down! We're staying!" He yelled at the man inside the jet.

I clung to him with all of my strength. "I thought I wouldn't make it in time. I thought I had lost you again." I sobbed into his chest. "I thought you'd left me again."

Chuck held me tighter. "You won't ever lose me again. God, Blair, I won't ever leave you again. I swear I won't ever hurt you like this again." I could hear the tears in his voice. My knees gave up, but he held me up and scooped me into his arms. He took me back to the limo, where Serena was waiting with tears in her eyes. We piled into the limo, and as soon as we began moving, Chuck turned to Serena. "Thank you for what you did for Blair. Without you, I would be going through with the worst mistake of my life."

Serena shook her head. "Blair is my best friend, and you have no idea how much she loves you. I would do anything for the both of you."

The events of the day weighed down on me, and I laid my head in Chuck's lap. He stroked my hair as I was lulled to sleep by the movement of the limo. I was faintly aware of when Chuck lifted me from the limo and began to carry me, but by the time he laid me on my bed, I was gone.

* * *

**A/N: I have to admit, this is the second time I've had to write this chapter. The first time I wrote it, I went to press save, and I was logged out. So I finally got around to writing it over again. This second time was much better, so I'm almost glad. Tell me what you think!**

**Until next time. XOXO  
**


	9. Bad Date

**A/N: Well, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this up. I've had a lot to deal with. New job with a boss that won't give me any hours and tells me she doesn't need me when I come in when I'm scheduled. Guy confusion. My mom had surgery on her jaw to get a lump removed from under her skin, and so my Dad came down from Chicago, and he and I got into several fights. I start crying when people yell at me, so I obviously didn't fare too well. If he hadn't been here, I probably would have updated sooner. **

**I would like to note that this chapter has to do with a touchy subject. I can't say what it is, because I want it to be one of those intense, "Oh-My-Gasp" moments, and I always thought that giving things away in the author notes ruined the mood of the story. So if you don't like touchy subjects, stop here. **

**Also, did I mention that I DO NOT OWN GOSSIP GIRL? (Well, technically I do, because I have season 2 on DVD, but that's not what I meant.)  
**

* * *

**BPOV**

My eyes fluttered open, and I looked around my room. My head spun, and I tried to remember how I got in bed. It took me a minute for my mind to review what all had happened yesterday, but it all came clear when I saw Chuck sitting beside me on my bed, holding a file of papers in his lap, intensely studying them. "Oh!" I gasped, and Chuck looked up with a smile.

"Good morning, beautiful. I thought you'd never wake up." Chuck took my hand. "Are you all right?"

I nodded. "I'm just trying to process everything that's happened."

"Understandable. I have, too. Or, I was. Then I had to make a few phone calls, and I had some papers faxed here for the merger." Chuck said, scratching his head. "I'm going to be at the office a lot in the next month or so." I nodded again.

"Yes, I know. This is important." My voice was detached, and Chuck heard it. He looked at me and I waved my hand at him. "No, I don't regret what I did, I just...I didn't put the merger in jeopardy or give you more work to do or anything, did I?"

"No, Blair. It would be just as hard if I was in Japan. Actually, it would be harder. I wouldn't have you." I smiled at him, and he leaned in to kiss me. A tingle started up from my toes, sending shivers up my spine, ending when he pulled away. "I won't have to go in for another two days, since they need time to get everything set up for me, and I'm having them redecorate the office. Green is more my color." There was a knock at the door, and he turned. "Come in, Dorota!" The door opened, and Dorota came in with a tray. My nose perked up at the smell, and my stomach growled. I hadn't eaten in a while.

"Thank you, Dorota." She nodded and left. I quickly grabbed my plate and began scarfing down the scrambled eggs. Chuck bit at a piece of bacon, swallowing before he spoke.

"My penthouse should be fixed by today, and my things are being taken there tonight."

I choked on a piece of sausage. Chuck patted my back until I stopped coughing. "You're leaving?"

Chuck nodded. "But, I was hoping that you would stay with me. If you want."

"Chuck! I'd love it." I scooted closer to him. "I really would."

"I was hoping. I was just afraid that you'd be scared of the gossip that would come with it. You're newly widowed. To move in with another man, even if it wasn't me, would be an instant scandal. Gossip Girl still follows you guys, right?" Chuck asked.

"Yeah. It's less annoying now that we've lived with her for so long. But I don't care about scandal. I'm going to live the way I want." I chomped down on a piece of toast dramatically.

"I just wanted to make sure." I nodded gratefully, my mouth full. "Are you really sure? I don't want to force you to do something you don't want to do or to move too quickly..."

I put down my fork and took his face in my hands. "Chuck, I'm sure. I want to do this. I love you." His hands rested on top of mine, his fingers laced with mine and slid them down into his lap.

"I'm just scared that if I do something wrong, I'm going to lose you. I've waited so long. I've done stupid things. I knew I loved you from the moment I saw you, but I didn't want to seem like a stalker by telling you. I don't want to ever scare you off." He shook his head. "I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

My eyes began to fill with tears as I squeezed his hand. "Chuck, you won't lose me. I don't understand why you would think that."

"Because I've lost everyone else. Everyone I ever cared about. I cared about my father, whether he cared about me or not. I've lost you once, almost twice," He looked up at me, and I saw that his eyes were glistening with tears as well, "I don't want to lose you again." I didn't know what I could say, so I leaned in and pressed my lips against his. His breath was sweet, and his mouth had the smoky taste of the breakfast bacon, which wasn't altogether unpleasing. His hands began roaming around my hips, and I pulled away chuckling.

"As much as I love kissing you, I'm not sure if I want to break the dishes and grind eggs into my bed in the process." I picked up my plate and placed it on the tray. I turned and slid out of the bed, walking into my bathroom. "Oh my...GOD...Bass, how could you not have told me that I looked like I got attacked by a tiger?" I was looking in the mirror at the tangles of hair on top of a face smeared with old mascara and eyeliner. My clothes were the ones I had on last night, the strap of my babydoll dress hanging off of my shoulder. Chuck laughed, and I turned to him with flames in my eyes. "Chuck, if you even think about saying that I look beautiful, I swear I will grind your balls in your mouth."

"Babe, you look hilarious, I know, but you do look beautiful. I've never seen you in this way, not put together."

My jaw dropped. "Wait...wha...what did you just say?"

His eyes widened, obviously misunderstanding. "Please don't grind my balls into my mouth. I really meant it."

I shook my head. "No...I meant...You just called me 'babe'."

Chuck nodded slowly, not yet understanding. "Yes...I'm sorry, do you not want me to?"

"No, Chuck...It's just that...noone's ever called me that before. I've only ever been called Blair, or B of course. It's nice." I turned back to the mirror, picking up a brush, and began working on my hair. I heard Chuck's footsteps, and he came up behind me. His hand closed around mine, taking the brush from me. He began to gently work through the tangles in my hair.

"I had no idea. I would have thought that..."

"It's fine, Chuck." He was silent again as he worked through my tangled tresses, brushing them back into their normal silkiness. I grabbed a cloth and wet it, rubbing at the makeup under my eyes. Once I looked less like Jenny Humphrey and more like myself, I strode into my closet and changed into a purple dress with rhinestones around the neckline. When I came back out, Chuck was sitting on the edge of the bed in a fresh suit. He straightened up when he saw me, and came to wrap his arms around my waist.

"You look lovely." I smiled up at him and he kissed my cheek. "Would you like to go to the Palace for drinks tonight? Bass Industries has a private table there, ever since we bought the building."

"Well," I said, thinking about my schedule today, "I have a few things I need to do today, but I should have time. Can I meet you there around six?"

"Of course," Chuck said. "I'll be going to the office to organize the redecorating of my office and the main conference rooms. May I ask where you will be?"

I smiled coyly. "I'll be shopping with Serena. She knows better than anyone - a new man means a new wardrobe."

* * *

"Oh, Blair, you have to wear the BCBG dress when you go to see Chuck tonight. It looks so amazing on you," Serena said as we walked down the sidewalk with our bags.

"Which one? The black and white one?" Serena nodded. "Well, you're right." I smiled. The silk dress was short, which would have Chuck going crazy. It was white on top, with a line of black sequins under the chest, and the bottom half was black. "I should wear the red and black lingerie under it, right?"

"Definately. Oh God, Blair, I'm so happy for you." I smiled at her.

"I am happy. I can't believe how good I feel. Don't get me wrong, I loved Nate, I really did. I just love Chuck in a completely different way. The way he touches me, he sets my skin on fire. Noone has ever touched me or looked at me the way Chuck does." I looked back up at Serena. "It kindof scares me."

"Blair," Serena stopped walking and turned to me, "You know Chuck loves you."

"I know he does. I just..." I faltered for a minute, "I'm scared of letting myself get into this, and then lose him again. I never felt this way about Nate, and losing him hurt worse than I ever thought possible. If something happens to Chuck, or he decides to leave me again, I don't know what will happen to me."

Serena took my hand in hers. "Blair, don't you think he feels the same way? If something happened to you, it would destroy him. He loves you, thats the reason he looks at you and touches you the way he does."

I smiled at her and twined my arm through hers. "You're right. I guess I'm just being stupid."

"No, you're not stupid. It's understandable why you would feel like that. I just don't believe that you are the only one of the two of you that feels that way. You should talk to him tonight. Tell him how you feel."

"No! What if he laughs at me?" Serena knew I had never been good at expressing my true feelings to anyone but her.

"He won't laugh at you, Blair."

We stopped in front of my building. "Ugh, I guess you're right." I looked down at my watch. "And if I want to be on time, I need to go and change now. Thank you so much for today." I hugged Serena tightly. "I really needed this. I'll talk to you later!"

"Good luck!" Serena waved at me as I skittered into my building. My foot tapped loudly in the elevator, which seemed to be going slower than usual. The doors finally opened into my penthouse, and I scurried out.

"Dorota! I need your help NOW! I have to meet Chuck in an hour and I have to change!"

* * *

When the limo pulled up at the Palace, I took one more look in my compact mirror, fanning my curls over my shoulders before stuffing it back into my black Prada clutch. As soon as my black babydoll heels hit the pavement in front of the Palace, my heart began throbbing. I wasn't used to telling people that I was scared. I was afraid that Chuck would be hurt by how I felt, but I had to belive that Serena was right.

I walked into the Palace bar and asked the bartender for Chuck Bass. He pointed me toward a curtain, and I thanked him, walking toward it. I passed through the curtains to see a private corner booth. Two candles were flickering, and Chuck was sitting with a single red rose in his hand. He stood as I entered, holding his hand out to me. "Blair. You look exquisite." I placed my hand in his, and he leaned to kiss it, never breaking his smoldering gaze from mine. I felt my face begin to heat up as he handed me the rose. Chuck's hand guided me to my seat next to his. A cosmo was sitting in front of me and I quickly sipped at it. Chuck raised his glass of scotch to his lips, but put it back on the table as he absorbed the emotions on my face. "Are you going to tell me what is the matter?"

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Chuck. I'm just..." I reached for my drink again, but Chuck grabbed my hand.

"Blair, talk to me."

I looked in his eyes, and they were full of concern. What Serena told me had to be true. "I'm scared. There, I said it."

Chuck was silent for a moment. "You don't have to be."

"I know, I know. I've just never felt this way about anyone. If I were to lose you, I don't know what I would do."

Chuck placed my hand in his lap and held it tightly. "Blair, you don't have to worry about losing me. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to leave you again." He kissed me lightly and I smiled at him. As I took another sip of my drink, my stomach growled. Chuck laughed. "Would you like me to go to the kitchen and get them to bring you something?"

I nodded. "A salad would be nice. With rasberry vinagrette, please." Chuck stood up and kissed my forehead.

"Anything for you." I smiled at him as he walked out. As soon as he was out of sight, my breath left in a giant 'whoosh'. I sipped again at my drink, and reached for my clutch to check my hair when the curtain moved again in the corner of my eye.

"That was fast." I said, turning to face Chuck. The man standing in front of me was not Chuck. He was tall, with short cut blonde hair and green eyes. His mouth was twisted up into an unattractive grin. "Excuse me, this is a private booth."

"I know," the man said. His voice was deep and quiet. "I saw you come in. I noticed the man leaving and so I decided it was my turn." He walked toward me, and I scooted back unconscously.

"You need to leave. I'll give you five seconds and then I'm going to yell for security." I said with as much strength in my voice as i could manage.

The man laughed and reached into his jacket pocket. "Oh, I don't think you'll be yelling anything." His hand came back into sight, and his thumb flicked open the blade of a knife. "At least, not if you want this lodged in your throat." I scooted back again, but he satdown beside me and pulled me to him. He was stronger than he looked. "No, you're not going anywhere. Not until I've played with you." He smiled at me. He placed his hand on my thigh, and I scooted back into the corner of the booth, realizing at once that I was trapped.

He laughed again, pulling at the bottom of my dress and grabbing at my chest, hovering over me. Tears began to cloud my vision, and I tried to push his hands away. His fist connected with my jaw, and I cried out. My cry was quickly muffled by his hand over my mouth. "You stay still or next time it won't be my fist coming at your face." The tears began to fall as I prayed that Chuck would come back quickly. The man lifted my arm above my head, and when I struggled, he pushed it harder into the seat until a loud crack sounded, and a sharp pain began shooting up my arm. His other hand clamped tighter over my mouth. I stopped struggling, and his hand snaked up my dress and began to push my panties down.

All of a sudden his weight was gone, and he was flying backwards. I heard yelling and struggling, but I was in too much pain to look around. I began sobbing when I heard Chuck's voice coming closer to me. "Blair! Are you all right? Blair!" His face came into my view, and I cried harder. He had a small cut on his cheek, no doubt from the man. Chuck's arms wound around me, picking me up. I buried my face into his shoulder, sobbing into his suit. As he slid into the limo with me and yelled directions for the driver, I kept clinging to him.

* * *

**CPOV**

By the time I finished helping Blair into the hospital gown and into the bed, she had stopped crying. She was a mess. I held her hand when the doctor came in to examine her. After many questions, he concluded that Blair's wrist was only sprained. He turned to me to explain how to care for her as I held her hand with one hand and fiddled with the small velvet box in my jacket pocket with the other.

**A/N: Cliffie! Well, kindof. Now, I know you are all going to begin assuming it is a ring. This amuses me, because earrings and small necklaces are also placed into similar sized boxes. Keep an open mind, will you?**

**Now, I'm a little mad. I've had over 200 hits after I posted chapter 8, and I've only gotten one review on it. I think that if you take the time to read my story, you can take thirty seconds to review and tell me what you thought of it. I appreciate all comments (Except the ones I got a while back before I deleted the first half of the first chapter. Those were rude, uncalled for, and extremely immature. Telling me that I should kill myself or that I should have my son taken away just because one word in a quote is supposedly wrong? Really?) and I appreciate honesty. If it is horrible, or if a character did or said something that doesn't seem to be the same style as the rest of the story, let me know. I will say that I won't always act on suggestion, but rest assured that I will take any and all suggestions to heart.**

**I hope everyone is having a good day, and I hope everyone is enjoying this story. I know I am.**

**Until next time. XOXO.  
**


	10. Little Black Box

**A/N: I'm very happy with the comments that I got on my last chapter. Thank you to those of you who took the few seconds to comment (see, it wasn't that painful). I really appreciate it. I would like to take a minute to address some of those comments.**

**ilovecujo1993: Yes, I did have a son, he's 8 months old now. Two teeth, crawling, and at the moment he is looking in the toy mirror in his bouncy seat and laughing at his reflection. I was freaking out about a guy yesterday and he laughed at me, I said "Why did you just laugh at Mommy?" and he laughed again. He finds me amusing, I guess. His favorite activities incluse grabbing my nose and trying to put it in his mouth, and trying to unbutton my pajama top.**

**svenjen: I somehow knew you were reading and timed my update well! *dun dun dun* No, it took me pretty much all day to write that chapter. I guess I just have amazing timing! Hahaha! And don't worry about it being over anytime soon...I have a few more ideas before I have to try to think about how to end it. **

**In this chapter, there will be several surprises. The real question of the black box will be answered...ring? earrings? or could it possiblly be a sentimental item that is not jewelry? You'll see. Now, onwards, my readers! **

* * *

**BPOV**

It had taken me two weeks to move into Chuck's penthouse, but finally I felt that everything I needed was placed where I wanted. During those two weeks, I was only able to use one hand, since the sprained wrist hurt too much to use, but I managed to do everything myself. Chuck had spent most of his time at the office, leaving me alone to arrange and rearrange my things.

I was feeling a bit off, but it was probablly a combination of lack of sleep and the flu that was spreading around the city. Serena had already gotten it, which was why she wasn't helping me to move. She was feeling better, though, and hopefully would come to keep me company soon. I was going to go crazy if I had to stay in the penthouse alone for another day.

"Chuck! Have you seen my hairbrush? I left it on the counter!" I yelled.

His voice sounded from the kitchen. "I put it in the cabinet so I had room to shave." I found the brush, and smoothed my hair before walking into the kitchen to find Chuck cooking a breakfast of waffles. I smiled,sitting in the chair on the opposite side of the counter. "How does your wrist feel today?" he asked.

I waved it in front of him. "Today is the first day I can leave the wrap off! It's still sore, but I can use it now!" I grabbed a waffle to put on a plate, and began piling on strawberries and chocolate chips. Chuck laughed and I glared at him. He looked back down at the rasberries he was placing on his waffle. Finally, I slammed my fork down, startling him. "Chuck, what is the matter with you?"

He looked at me, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Chuck, you've been so quiet lately. We haven't had sex since I hurt my arm. You're barely here. Even when you're here, you're not here. You have to tell me what is going on."

"Blair," he said solemnly, "I haven't had sex with you because I don't want to hurt your arm. And you know I have long hours at Bass because of the merger. It's almost over, and I'll have better hours soon."

I sighed. "That only answers half of my question, Chuck."

"Blair, I - " Chuck's Blackberry phone began buzzing on the counter. Chuck picked it up, glanced at it, and shoved it in his pocket. He walked around the counter where his jacket hung over the back of the chair next to me. He slid it on. "That was my secretary. I have to go." He kissed my forehead and walked away. I sat frozen until the elevator doors closing snapped me out of my state. A single tear slid down my cheek, but I quickly wiped it away. I ran back into the bathroom and twisted on the water in the bathtub. I reached into the cabinet for a fresh razor when I noticed a box that I hadn't touched in a while...

"Um...Serena?" I stammered into the phone. "I need your help. Can you get over here? I need you to make a stop on the way."

* * *

"How long?" I asked, drumming my fingers on the counter.

"The box said three minutes." Serena glanced at the box as she was perched on the edge of the bathtub.

"It's been two and a half." I said. I took a deep breath and looked.

"What does it say?" Serena asked.

I was silent for the longest time. When I finally spoke, my voice was shaking. "Oh, god."

* * *

**CPOV**

I couldn't concentrate. I looked at the paper in front of me, and I couldn't see them. All I could see was Blair's face as I walked out of the penthouse. I hadn't meant to hurt her. I hadn't meant to become so detatched. Looking back on it all, I could see that I had. She was not the only person who was upset about the events of that night two weeks ago, but I had more to be upset about than she did. Not only had the love of my life been hurt and nearly raped, but the plans that I had so carefully laid out for that night had been shattered. I tried not to let my disappointment affect me, but it obviously had.

I looked at the clock. I still had an hour before I had planned to leave, but I hadn't gotten much done and I doubted that I would get much more done. I stood and turned the desk light off and headed out of the room.

"I'm leaving early, Hannah," I said to my secretary. She smiled and waved as I put on my jacket and walked out of the door and straight into the limo.

The entire ride home, I twirled the box in my hand. As the former playboy of the Upper East Side, noone would have ever believed that I would be unable to get a woman out of my head, let alone Blair.

I barely noticed where I was until the elevator doors opened into the penthouse. The living room was dark, and everything was quiet. My heart stopped until I saw Blair's coats all hanging in the coat closet. For a second, I thought that I had upset her more than I realized and she had left me.

I walked into the bedroom to see Blair laying in the bed in her cream silk nightgown, her arm covering her eyes. "Blair?" I took a tenetive step forward, not wanting to wake her if she was asleep. She moved her arm to look at me, and turned her head to the side. I walked over to sit on the side of the bed. She wouldn't look at me. "Blair, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that my behaviour was upsetting you, and I apoligize."

"I forgive you," she said with a detatched voice, still stairing into space.

"If you forgive me, then look at me." She didnt move for a moment, and then she slowly turned toward me. Her eyes were red and blotchy, and I could tell she had been crying. "Oh, Blair..."

"Just hold me, Chuck," she said, her voice quivering slightly. I slowly laid down beside her and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. My right hand stroked her hair as my left rubbed circles on her back.

"I love you, Blair."

"I love you, too, Chuck."

I sat up, pulling her with me. She looked at me, and I could see the tears in her eyes. "Blair, I'm so sorry."

She shook her head. "Chuck, I - "

"No," I interrupted, placing my hand on her lips, "I have something I need to say." I took a deep breath. "Blair, I love you. I never meant to hurt you. I realize that leaving you was the worst mistake of my life, and I promise to never leave you again. I don't want to live another day without you." I finally, slowly pulled out the small box from my pocket and opened it. "Blair, would you do me the honor of being my wife?" I watched Blair's eyes as they widened at the sight of the ring and my words. She was silent. "Blair?" She looked up at me, her eyes bulging. She nodded quickly, and I took the ring from the box and slid it onto her finger. It was a simple gold band with a small diamond. The ring was simple and traditional, and I knew it was exactly what Blair would want. Nevertheless, it was from Tiffany's.

I pulled her to me, and I kissed her deeply. I could feel the tears running down her cheeks, and I wiped them away with my thumbs. I kissed her again, and then looked at her. "I'm going to fix dinner, okay?" She nodded. "How about you stay here in bed? You're shaking like a leaf." Blair smiled and nodded, and I stood up and headed to the kitchen.

* * *

**BPOV**

As I watched Chuck walk out of the room, my heart began thumping even harder against my chest. I reached for my phone and pressed the speed dial.

"Blair? What is it? Did you tell him?" Serena asked.

"No, Serena," I whispered. "I think he knows."

"Why?"

"He proposed."

"Oh, Blair, really! You said yes, right?"

"I did, but then I realized that maybe he only proposed because he suspects it."

Serena sighed. "Or _maybe_ he just wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Are you going to tell him?"

I paused. "I don't know, Serena...I don't think I can."

"Blair, Chuck deserves to know if you're pregnant."

"I know, I just...I want to be married to him before I give him something else to worry about. I can make sure the wedding is quick, and I can just tell him after."

"Blair, I don't like this. You can't just keep something like this from him, and once he finds out after the wedding, he'll be furious."

"Well, once it's done, there's nothing he can do about it. I'm sorry Serena, but this is my decision."

"I understand, and I would never dream of telling him just because you wont...but that doesn't mean I agree with what you're doing."

"Will you at least stand by me no matter what happens?"

"Always, B."

* * *

**A/N: Oh no! B is up to her tricks again! How do you feel about what has happened? I was hoping to throw you off in the last chapter, so that maybe you wouldn't see Chuck's plan. What do you think will happen next? I'm sure nobody will guess. The next chapter will mostly be a filler to move things along, but it will still be important...but then in the chapter after, something will happen that could call the wedding off altogether. Other characters will be making their appearances in the next few chapters.**

**As always, comment!**

**Until next time. XOXO  
**


	11. Best Stressed

**A/N: OK, a lot of people were saying that they had a feeling the baby wasn't Chuck's. I'm not sure why, but it never really occured to me that it could be Nate's. So I'll address that issue in this chapter...and I'll see which way it turns out. **

**My new name now is "mommom". My son said what I think is his first word. It's a cross between Mom and Mommy...neither of which he can say. I walked away from him and he said clear as day "mommom!" Although my friend said that he could have been hungry and saying "nom nom..."  
**

* * *

**BPOV**

"Blair? You've been in the shower for half an hour, are you all right?" Chuck's voice came from outside the bathroom door. I looked up to see taht I had forgotten to lock it and began to panic.

"Yes, I'm all right. I had to shave and make sure I got all of the deep conditioner out of my hair. I'll be out in a second." I kept one eye on the doorknob, which didn't move. His shadow under the door stayed there for a few moments, and then disappeared. I stood up, grabbing a cloth to wipe my mouth with. The wave of nausea passed as quickly as it had come. I reached in the shower and turned the water off. I took the towel off of my head and shook my damp hair out.

After I had dressed, I opened the door to find Chuck sitting on the bed. He looked up at me, standing up to put his arms around my waist. "Blair, are you sure you're all right? You've been a bit distant lately."

I nodded. "I'm fine, I'm just...I'm stressing about the wedding. There's still so much to do, and the date is a week away."

"We don't have to do it so quickly. I don't want you worrying too much. You know I love you, and you're working yourself harder than I am."

"No, I'm fine." Chuck raised his eyebrows. "Really, I am. I've got another meeting with the wedding planner today to pick out my dress. Serena is coming to help me."

Chuck laughed. "She's doing her job of Maid of Honour almost too well. She's been around almost every day."

"She's my best friend, Chuck. I wouldn't have you without her." I tilted my head up to kiss him.

"Ahh, Blair. If I didn't have to go to the office, I would hold you prisoner in that bed the entire day."

I laughed, pulling out of his arms. "But then I wouldn't have a dress for the wedding. What would you suggest I wear then?"

He grabbed me again, pulling me close to whisper in my ear. "I wouldn't have a problem with you wearing absolutely nothing."

"Well, you might not, but I think my mother might." I pulled out of his arms once again. "I have to leave, or I'm going to be late."

"When do you think you'll be back?" Chuck asked, holding my coat for me to put on.

"Well, I'm not sure. We're going to lunch to talk about what kind of dress I want, and then we're going to go to some dress shops."

Chuck pulled me close again, kissing my cheek. "Just be careful, all right. If you need me, you can call me at the office." I nodded, walking into the elevator. "Tell Serena I said hello," he said as the doors closed.

I walked outside and got in the limo. "It's about damn time!"

"I'm sorry, Serena, I got sick in the shower, and Chuck was asking all these questions..."

"Does he suspect anything?"

I shook my head as the limo pulled away. "No, he's worried I'm working myself too hard."

Serena took my hand. "I'm here for you and I want to help you in any way I can. I don't support your decision, but I'm going to stand by you. I don't care how I feel about what you're doing. I just want to help you.

I smiled at her. "You are, S. You have no idea what a rock you have been for me. I could never get through this without you. I know how hard it is for you to help me through this when you don't agree, but I just can't do this right now with him." I shook my head.

"Well, I'm glad you got out here when you did. We're going to be cutting it very close. I was about to call and reschedule."

"Thank you for coming with me, S. I know I should have done this sooner, but I've been planning the wedding night and day that I haven't had any time. I'm lucky to be going today. Chuck kissed me, and it made me want to skip and stay in bed with him." Serena laughed.

"I think we're here," Serena said when the limo stopped. She opened the door and helped me out. We walked into the office. I stepped up to the reception desk.

"Yes, I'm Blair Archibald," I said, "I have an appointment." The lady looked down at the book in front of her and nodded.

"If you would please have a seat, someone will call you back in just a minute." I nodded and sat down, Serena sitting next to me.

"You're lucky," Serena whispered, "that I had thought to give them your insurance information beforehand. I also pre-paid for you." I squeezed her hand in a gesture of thanks and nervousness.

We sat for about five minutes, when the door opened and a small red-headed woman called my name. I stood and walked with her, Serena following me. She gestured to a scale, and I stepped onto it. The lady tweaked the numbers until the arrows added up to 110 pounds, my normal weight. She then showed me to a bathroom. "There are some cups inside, I need you to write your name on the label for the urine sample, leave it in the cupboard, and come to the second room down this hall when you are finished." I nodded, and went inside.

When I was done, I found the room, where Serena was siting in the chair against the wall, and the nurse was sitting on a wheeled stool. She motioned for me to sit on the table, which I did.

"So, Mrs. Archibald, I just need to ask a few questions, we're going to run a few quick tests on your urine, and then the doctor will be in here. She'll do a pap smear and possibly and ultrasound if she think it is necessary." I nodded my head. "Are you allergic to any medications?"

"No."

"Have you had any morning sickness?"

"Yes."

"How severe?"

"At least three times a day."

"Any other pains?"

"No."

"Okay," she said, standing up, "I need you to take your clothes off and put this gown on. The doctor will be in in a minute." I nodded, and she smiled and left. Serena helped me into the gown and we waited. She stood beside me and held my right hand while the fingers of my left hand were drumming on the side of the table.

Finally, after almost 15 minutes, there was a knock on the door, and a skinny blonde doctor came in. "Hi," she said, reaching out to shake my hand, "I'm Dr. Hanley. How are you today?" Her smile was perfectly white.

"I'm okay, thanks."

"Well," she sat down on the stool, "We did a routine pregnancy test on your urine sample, and it came up positive. The test results for any STD's will be back in a few days. We're going to first do a pap smear, and we're going to have an ultrasound to see how far along you are. So if you'll just lay back, this is going to be a little uncomfortable."

Serena held my hand through everything. When the doctor was all done, she had me sit up while she wrote everything down, and then she turned to me. "Well, you are exactly six weeks along. Everything seems to be coming along fine. I'm a little concerned with your history of bulemia, Blair. You have to understand that bulemia is dangerous to you and your baby now." I nodded my head. "I'm not going to lecture you, I just need you to understand that your choices now affect your baby." I nodded again. "Do you have any questions?" I shook my head. She handed me a piece of paper. "Here is your prescription for prenatal vitamins. If these don't agree with you, we can try a different brand." I nodded. "Well," she stood up and opened the door, "I'll need to see you again this time next month." I nodded.

"Wait..." Serena said, "did you say exactly six weeks along?"

"Yes."

"Oh, God, Blair..." Serena said.

"What?" I asked nervously.

"Um," She looked at the doctor and stood up. "Let's make you an appointment. I'll tell you about it in the limo."

When we were done arranging an appointment, I climbed into the limo with shaking hands. As soon as Serena shut the door, I looked at her.

"Blair, do you know what happened exactly six weeks ago?" I shook my head, trying to think back. "Blair it was the day of Nate's funeral."

"Oh..." My mind clicked. "It was the night Chuck got drunk."

"The night Chuck raped you." Serena said. I couldn't speak. My head was spinning. I didn't even realize when we had pulled up to the wedding planner's office until Serena tugged my arm out of the door.

While we stood in the lobby waiting for the wedding planner, I tried to get a hold of myself. I was breathing normally by the time the wedding planner walked in. She was holding a white binder with "Bass-Archibald" printed in calligrapy on the side. "Hello, Amy," I said.

"Hi, Blair! Hello, Serena," Amy said brightly. "So, Blair, first off, what are you thinking you want? I need to figure out which shop we should start off at."

"Well, I want something elegant and a bit on the traditional side, but no lace or sparkles. Simple, but looks like it's out of a fairy tale."

"Okay...hmmm....okay. I know where to go." Amy took off, and Serena and I scurried after her.

* * *

"Oh, Blair, I loved the dress you picked out." Serena clapped her hands as the limo took off. I looked at my phone. It was almost nine, and I was exhausted.

"I know, it's exactly what I wanted," I said proudly. After five shops and fourty-seven trips to the dressing room, I finally found the perfect gown. it was a tulle gown by Anne Barge. The rouched bodice and dropped waist did wonders on my body.

"So, is Chuck excited?" Serena asked. I nodded. "Have you thought about how you're going to tell him about the baby?"

"No," I said quietly. "I've been stressing about the wedding. I think if I stess about the...the baby...I might lose it. With Chuck giveing me the third degree every day, I can't afford to be anything but my best right now. I just have to get through this, and then I can worry about it."

"Blair..."

"I know, S. You don't have to say it." We pulled up at Chuck's hotel. "Thanks for today, S. Really. I couldn't have done it without you."

"Love you, B."

"Love you too, S." I waved as I got out and strode into the hotel. I kept my eyes closed until I heard the doors slide open into the penthouse. Everything was dark, and I assumed that Chuck was still in he office. My stomach began to growl at me, and I laid my coat down on the chair.

I walked into the kitchen, but it wasn't dark. There were two glowing candles on the table, as well as two place settings. I looked up, and Chuck was stepping out of a dark corner. I felt a smile slide scross my face as he walked to me and held me in his arms, kissing me.

"Chuck, what is this?"

"Do I really need an occasion to cook a nice meal for my lovely fiancee?" He chuckled. He guided me to my seat, holding my chair for me. I thanked him, and he strode into the kitchen, returning with two plates. He set one in front of me and the other in front of himself. I looked down at the steaming plate. It smelled amazing. "It's chicken kiev, hot pasta salad, and broccoli in garlic sauce," Chuck said proudly. "I made it myself."

I cut a small piece of the chicken and took a bite. "Chuck, this is amazing." Chuck smiled, and we ate in silence for a bit.

"So, how was your day?" he asked.

"I found the perfect dress. It took a while, but I couldn't have done it wthout Serena."

"I'm glad you found a dress you like. Although you could wear a potato sack and still look gorgeous." I blushed. He took a drink of his wine and set the glass down. "Blair, where did you do this morning?"

I began to choke on a piece of pasta. "What?"

"You left your phone in my limo last night, and I found it. I called the wedding planner to see it you were there yet so that I could drop it off, and she said your appointment wasn't for another two hours." I gulped.

"Well, Serena had told me that Amy was coming with us to lunch, but Amy had a last-minute appointment with another bride, so she couldn't."

Chuck was silent for a minute or so. "Your phone is on the dresser, by the way."

"Thank you, Chuck." We ate the rest of our meal in silence. I stood up. "I think I'm going to go to bed. I'm really tired. Are you coming?" I asked suggestively, hoping to lighten the mood.

Chuck shook his head. "I have some paperwork to do."

"Oh," I said. "Okay. Goodnight, then..." I slowly left, hoping that I hadn't said anything to upset him.

* * *

**CPOV**

After I had cleaned up dinner, I went into my office. I paced around a bit before I finally grabbed the phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Lily, hello. I'm sorry for calling so late, I only need a minute of your time."

"Charles, it's all right. What is it?"

"I need a bit of help. I think Blair is hiding something from me. I'd appreciate it if you would talk to Serena and see if she could help Blair with whatever it is, since she's helping her so much with the wedding."

"Of course, Charles, I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you, Lily."

* * *

**A/N: So, the next chapter is the wedding day. Will Chuck find out Blair's secret? Will something happen to destroy the wedding? What do you think will happen? I appreciate all of your comments, and keep commenting. I love you all who take the time to comment.**

**Until next time. XOXO  
**


	12. Down The Aisle

**A/N: Well, I didn't get as many reviews as I was hoping for, but at least I got two. Thank you for reviewing, I really appreciate it. And good guesses on what happens next. I'm sorry I didn't get this out for a while, I was having a bit of trouble with the details. I worked it all out though. Obviously. Hahaha. But I've also been having trouble at home, and I haven't been dealing well. Therefore, whenever I tried to write, I couldn't really find the flow. (That's what she said.) I have to warn you ahead of time...I promise you that at the very end of this chapter, you will be bawling your eyes out. I was. It is a long chapter though, with a lot going on. Tons of drama. So...let's get busy.  
**

* * *

**BPOV**

My eyes fluttered open as light suddenly filled my old room. I sat up quickly, disoriented until I saw Dorota. "Oh, Miss Blair," she said, "Today wedding day. It beautiful outside. Perfect day." I smiled at her as she sat a tray of steamin breakfast in front of me. I looked at it and wrinkled my nose.

"Oh, God. I don't think I can eat all this. My stomach is in knots as it is."

"I sorry, Miss Blair. Mister Chuck call this morning and insist you eat fruit parfait at least. He knew you not be hungry, and he want you healthy for wedding." I smiled. Of course Chuck would know that I wouldn't want to eat today. I took the crystal glass of creamy white yogurt, blueberries, rasberries, blackberries, strawberries, and granola from the tray and took a bite as Dorota began to lay my clothes out for me. There was a knock on the door before it opened. "Serena!"

"Blair!" she screamed, bouncing over to sit on the edge of my bed. "I can't believe you're getting married!" I laughed.

"Serena, I've gotten married before."

"Yeah, but not like this! It's Chuck! You are head over heels for Chuck! I'm so happy that you two are finally together and happy!" She bounced on the bed, and Dorota scrambled to take the tray from my bed before it tumbled off.

After I finished the parfait, letting Serena steal a few bites, I went to wash up, and then Serena began to help me put on my dress and everything underneath. I had to stop twice because of morning sickness, and I worried that it would be putting us behind schedule.

I sat on a chair in my bathroom while Serena helped to curl my hair and pin it up in an elegant bun, with a few short curls hanging down. I applied my makeup while she did this. The white eyeshadow made my eyes pop, and the dark mascara seemed to make them sparkle more. Serena insisted I skip on the blush, since I would be blushing the entire time.

Before I knew it, I was being hurried into the limo, trying not to step on my skirts. I couldn't believe this. Everything was moving so fast already, with the exception of the traffic. We had to get to Central Park in fifteen minutes if I wanted to be on time to my own wedding. I had always wanted a wedding outside, but Nate's mother had insisted on a church wedding.

"Oh, geez, S, we're not going to make it!"

"B, they can't start without you. It's okay."

I began bouncing up and down on the seat. Finally, we got there, but in two minutes the wedding march was going to start, and they were missing the bride and maid of honour. "Blair! Serena! Come on!" Serena's little brother, Eric, was pacing as we pulled up. He had turned into quite the gentleman. Chuck had even made him best man. He held his hand out to me to help me out, and I hugged him lightly. "Blair, you look gorgeous."

"Thank you so much, Eric." I smiled at him. I considered him as much a part of my family as I did Serena. He helped me through some hard times, and I always knew where to turn if I needed brotherly advice rather than girl advice.

We hurried into place, just in time behind the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen. We were hidden from Chuck and the guests by a thick row of tall bushes. My father was waiting to take my hand. He looked up and smiled when he saw me. "Blair-bear," he said, lightly embracing me, "You look stunning."

"Thank you, Daddy. I'm so glad you could make it."

"Anything for you. I wouldn't have missed it for the world." We all turned as the sound of music cued the first couple to march out. Serena gave my hand one last squeeze before taking her brother's arm to stand in place. My father and I got closer to the end of the bushes, and it became harder for me to breathe. My nerves began to take over my body. I silently thanked Serena for making me use perscription-strength deodorant. I steadied myself with my father's arm as he flipped the veil over my face for me. I thanked him as we took another step forward.

My breath stopped as Serena looked back at me, smiled, and stepped out of sight. A few silent seconds passed before the bridal march music began. My father took a deep breath, and we both took the step to round the corner of the bushes. There were red roses draped over every unmoving surface. White ribbons were draped along the chairs down the aisle, and huge white gauze bows were hanging from the back of each chair. Everyone was standing and watching as my father and I took the slow steps down the aisle. I looked to the front and saw Chuck.

I couldn't begin to describe how happy he looked. I knew at once that I was right in not telling him about the baby. If I had told him, he would be more worried than happy right now. I doubt the wedding would even be on, because he wouldn't have let me work on it as hard as I have. He has been very protective of me since he came back.

Eric placed his hand on Chuck's shoulder in support. I smiled to myself. I couldn't keep my eyes off of Chuck as I got closer to him. I couldn't get to the end of the aisle fast enough. But finally, my father gave me away, kissing my forehead before going to sit in between my mother and Roman, and I stood beside Chuck. I listened to the minister as he spoke the words I had already heard once before.

All was silent as Chuck and I turned to face each other. Chuck took a deep breath. "Blair, I promise to love you without question for as long as I live. We've had a rough time, and I know there are tough times still, but I will do everything in my power to keep anything from seperating us ever again. I love you, and I will never stop loving you. I give my heart, soul, mind, and body to you."

"Chuck," I said, my voice wobbly and tears threatening to spill over, "I have loved you from day one. I will never stop loving you, even after I have died. You said those three little words to me. Now I am willing to say those two words to make me yours forever. Nothing will tear us apart. I promise to be there for you no matter what happens. I love you, and nothing will ever stop my love for you. I give my heart, soul, mind, and body to you." I had no idea until then that Chuck's smile could get any bigger.

"Chuck Bass," the minister said, "do you take Blair Archibald to be your wife? To love, comfort, honor, and keep her for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, and be faithful to only her as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." Chuck said, and he slid a gold band onto my finger.

"Blair Archibald, do you take Chuck Bass to be your husband? To love, comfort, honor, and keep him, for better or for wors, to richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, and be faithful to only him as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." I slid his ring in place on his hand.

"By the power vested in me by the will of God, I now pernounce you husband and wife." He looked at Chuck. "You may now kiss the bride."

Chuck's smile never faltered as he lifted the veil from my face, flipping it over my head. He leaned forward, and finally his lips met mine. As soon as our lips touched, I felt as though an electrical current was running through every inch of my body. It felt like hours later that he pulled away, and we turned to face our family and friends as a married couple for the first time. They all stood and clapped as we walked down the aisle to the horse-drawn carriage waiting for us. Red flower petals were thrown around as Chuck helped me into the carriage. We turned to wave before the crowd disappeared behind the bushes. Chuck turned back to me, taking my chin in his hand. "I love you, Mrs. Bass." I smiled and kissed him passionately, and this time I didn't have to stop to walk back down the aisle.

* * *

The carriage ride was a long one, long enough for our guests to get to the Palace ballroom for the reception. When we finally arrived, I had to run into the bathroom to take the veil from my hair without unraveling the bun. When I got done, Eric and Serena were waiting in front of the closed ballroom doors to present us. Serena hugged me as Eric gave Chuck a clap on the back. Nothing was said because we all knew what we meant. Eric and Serena entered the ballroom. "Excuse me!" Serena said as Chuck and I stood out of sight behind the door. Serena had to yell a few more times before everyone became quiet.

"May we now present," Eric said loudly, "Mr. and Mrs. Chuck Bass!" Chuck grabbed my hand, and we stepped into the ballroom together. everyone applauded as we hurried to take our seats at our table along side the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Serena came to sit next to me, and Eric sat beside Chuck. We were served dinner, and everything smelled delicious.

"Blair, are you all right?" Chuck whispered to me.

"Yes, why?"

"Blair, you haven't touched your salmon." He pointed at the untouched smoked piece of pink fish on my plate. "You love salmon."

I scrambled for an answer, only thinking of the fact that I'm not supposed to eat fish when pregnant. Serena overheard and came to the rescue. "It's not good to fill yourself with food before you dance, and fish is bad about making your stomach hurt. It's why I had marked on my invitation that I wanted the salad and no fish." Serena winked at me, and Chuck pushed his fish to the opposite side of his plate.

After a while, Eric stood. Everyone quieted, except for the occasional tinkling of people who didn't stop eating to listen. "I've known Blair all my life. I've known Chuck for almost as long. Blair was my sister's best friend, and I always thought of her as my sister as well. My mother married Chuck's father a few months after Chuck had moved to Japan, which made him my stepbrother. He was always nice to me, and he never judged me by my sexual orientation. Over the years, I have begun to think of him as not just a stepbrother, but a brother as well. I cannot express how happy I am to see my brother and my sister finally happy...although I think my speech has made this wedding into incest." The room was filled with laughter for a moment as my face turned bright red. "Either way, they have both been through hard times, and they both deserve to be happy. They love each other dearly, and I wish them all the best." Eric took his glass and raised it in the air. "To Blair and Chuck, may your love only grow stronger." Everyone raised their glasses and drank.

The caterers brought out the cake, and Chuck and I stood to cut the first piece. Our arms twined together as we fed each other a bite of cake at the same time.

A few minutes later, the DJ started the music, calling Chuck and I onto the dance floor for our first dance. Chuck picked the song "You're the Inspiration" by some band called Chicago. He had made me swear not to listen to it or look up the lyrics, and Serena told me not to, as she knew the song and knew that it would be better if the first time I listened to it was at the wedding. She was right. I barely held my tears at bay as Chuck and I held each other, swaying across the floor.

_You know our love was meant to be_  
_ The kind of love that lasts forever_  
_ And I want you here with me_  
_ From tonight until the end of time_  
_ You should know, everywhere I go_  
_ You're always on my mind, in my heart_  
_ In my soul, Baby_

_ You're the meaning in my life_  
_ You're the inspiration_  
_ You bring feeling to my life_  
_ You're the inspiration_  
_ Wanna have you near me_  
_ I wanna have you hear me sayin'_  
_ No one needs you more than I need you_

_ And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see_  
_ We're so in love when we're together_  
_ Now I know that I need you here with me_  
_ From tonight until the end of time_  
_ You should know, everywhere I go_  
_ Always on my mind, in my heart_  
_ In my soul_

_ You're the meaning in my life_  
_You're the inspiration_  
_You bring feeling to my life_  
_You're the inspiration_  
_Wanna have you near me_  
_I wanna have you hear me sayin'_  
_No one needs you more than I need you_

_Wanna have you near me_  
_ I wanna have you hear me sayin'_  
_ No one needs you more than i need you_  
_ You're the meaning in my life_

_ You're the inspiration_  
_ You bring feeling to my life_  
_ You're the inspiration_  
_ When you love somebody 'til the end of time_  
_ When you love somebody_  
_ always on my mind_  
_ No one needs you more than I._  
_ When you love somebody 'til the end of time_  
_ When you love somebody_  
_ always on my mind_  
_ I need you..._

When the song ended, Chuck kissed my forehead. Eric took my hand, swinging me to dance with him as Serena took Chuck's attention. "Blame It" came booming from the speakers as we danced.

The rest of the reception was lighthearted and fun. I could tell Chuck was eager to get me back home when everyone was told to exit the dance floor while me, Serena, and the bridesmaids dance to "Single Ladies". We learned the same routine as the music video, and Chuck was loving it. I could tell, since his pants turned into a tent, as much as he tried to hide it. I let Eric join us halfway through, and for some reason that I didn't want to know he was able to keep up with us, which made Chuck crack up.

Chuck and I danced together most of the time. We danced with our families and our guests the other part of the time, but we were never apart for long.

Serena and I danced together one last time during "I Gotta Feeling". I was feeling the effects of the day, supressing the urge to yawn. All of a sudden, someone ran into me from behind, and I fell to the floor. "Blair!" Serena leaned down to me and grabbed my arm to help me up. I could see Chuck coming towards us from the corner where he had been accepting congratulations. "Blair, the baby." Serena whispered.

"It's okay. I didn't land on my stomach. It's fine, S. Please." I whispered frantically. Serena nodded just as Chuck bent down and helped me to my feet.

"Blair, what happened? Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I just tripped. I'm fine." I smiled at him.

"Are you ready to go? It's getting late." I looked up at the clock, and it was close to midnight. Half of the guests were gone already. I nodded, and he grabbed my arm. He caught Eric's eye and nodded. Eric stood on top of a table to get everyone's attention.

"Mr. and Mrs. Chuck Bass are leaving!" Everyone began to cheer as Chuck and I made our way out of the ballroom and into the limo that was waiting to take us home.

Finally, Chuck closed the door and the limo began to move. He turned to me and kissed my forehead. "I can't wait to get away with you tomorrow."

I cuddled up to him as well as my dress would let me. "I'm just happy that you managed to get the time off. There's nothing I'd rather do than go honeymoon with you in the Bahamas. I've been packed for days." Chuck laughed, running his fingers along my shoulders. His lips ran along my neck, making my eyes roll back in my head. My breathing got heavy, and I prayed that we would get home soon.

Thankfully enough, the limo stopped in front of Chuck's building. We hurried into the elevator, eager to get into the penthouse. When the elevator doors opened, we were kissing again. Somehow, we made it into the bedroom. Chuck was ushering me into the bed when I pulled my lips from his. "Wait, wait!" I straightened up, not wanting to ruin my dress. Chuck looked disappointed. "Let me...get ready." I hurried into the bathroom and shut the door.

I pulled the pins out of my hair and let my curls free. Then I tried to take off my dress, which took me five minutes to manage to get out of. I slipped my sore feet out of the white heels, and then looked in the mirror at the white lacy lengerie that Serena had given me at my bachelorette party, and it was perfect to wear under my dress. I twirled, looking from every angle. I looked extremely sexy. I took a deep breath andwalked back into the bedroom.

Chuck was sitting on the bed with his shirt unbuttoned, his tuxedo jacket laying in the chair. His shoes and socks were off, and I wanted him on top of me so badly...

"Chuck?" he looked up at me. I sat down beside him and took his hand, bringing it slowly to my mouth, and kissed his wedding band. He turned and kissed me hard, sweeping me back onto the bed. His hands wandered up my back, removing the bustier from me. My hands ran over his shoulders, removing his shirt.

We were both unclothed, and he began kissing my neck. We didn't need any more foreplay - we were both ready. He slid into me, and I tightened around him. He groaned, thrusting forward. It wasn't long before my legs locked and my back arched in a powerful oragasm, my muscles milking him. He soon followed, and we spiraled together in pleasure.

* * *

**CPOV**

When I woke up, the room was still dark. I looked at the clock. It was four AM. I streached, looking at Blair. She was curled on her side, her back facing me. I scooted to cuddle her, but something wet brushed my hand. I was suspicious - we never usually made a mess. I reached to turn on the bedside light, and turned back. Our sheets were stained red.

"Blair!" I grabbed her shoulder, pulling her onto her back. Her head flopped. I reached for the phone.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"I need an ambulance," I said frantically. "My wife is bleeding and unconscious."

* * *

**A/N: OK, so I warned you that it would be long and sad. Be sure to comment and tell me what you think and what you think will happen!**

**Until next time. XOXO  
**


	13. Rupture

**A/N: Well, this last chapter got more comments than the one before, and because of that, I am happy. Although there was one commentor, cowardly anonymous, that really got on my nerves. But I'd like to thank everyone other than that person for the comments.**

**ilovecujo1993 - I was thinking of writing it from Chuck's perspective - I even tried at first - but I couldn't seem to get it right. Blair's perspective seemed much better. I'm not sure why, but it just didn't flow right when I wrote it in Chuck's perspective. **

**xoxogg4lifexoxo - I love saying this....I told you so! **

**Ella - Well, I guess we only have one thing in common, because I can't stand people like you either. (And you don't even know me, but you think that saying BS like "I hate people like you" would even bother me...Really?) I love how you didn't even address the fact that I've said I-don't-know-how-many times that the word 'coon' has different meanings where I live. The issue has been dropped for months, so to bring it up again is so immature, I think I might vomit. I'm not going to waste my time defending myself, because I don't need to. If all you're going to comment on is my choice of wording (the issue that has been resolved for months, might I add), then I really don't care whatever else you have to say. So you can either stop reading this story altogether, or you can keep reading and just keep the immature comments to yourself. Your choice, and neither one of them include you bringing up issues from months ago. Okay? Bye now.**

**Your-Guilty-Pleasure - I love writing cliffhangers as well. I don't know why. As a writer, I think it keeps me on my toes, and in the time it takes to publish one chapter and start another, I can think of twenty different scenarios that work for the cliffhanger. I like cliffhangers better when I can see what happens next immediately. **

**I'm sorry this took me so long to write. I've had a lot on my plate. My parents are trying to get a divorce, I finally got a job that I start next week, I'm trying to get a car and save enough to get my own apartment before my mom moves out because if she moves, I'm stuck with her for a year since I would have to put my name on a lease. Not to mention in the middle of all of this chaos, I got a boyfriend that I have fallen head-over-heels for, and juggling all of this is not easy with a boyfriend. I'm not really the type to talk about things that are bothering me, and he gets upset that I don't. But my best friend invited me to prom (my school officially kicked me out for getting pregnant, but it looks like I get my senior prom after all), so I'm super excited to go to prom with my best friend and my boyfriend, who was invited by one of his friends.  
**

**Enough about me, let's get on with the story.**

* * *

**CPOV**

The steady beeping of the heart monitor was the only sound in the room. My eyes were locked on the rise and fall of Blair's chest. My mind kept replaying the last few hours. I still couldn't believe what had happened. She hadn't been my wife for twenty-four hours, but she was already lying to me. I planned to confront Serena, the one person she held close for the past weeks, but when she arrived at the hospital, I was too much in shock to speak to her. She didn't offer any information, but she had brought coffee for me, and I accepted. She was sitting in the waiting room with her mother and Dan.

Nurses came in occasionally, checking the paper that the monitor spat out, twiddling the tubes connected to her arms, checking the flow of the bag of blood hanging next to her IV bag, and checking her eyes with a tiny flashlight. If they were nice, they asked if I needed anything, and I would shake my head once never taking my eyes from Blair. One nurse placed her hand on my back for a minute before leaving, but hadn't been back in a while. Her shift had ended, I suppose.

I wanted to be mad at Blair, but I couldn't. All I felt was concern and guilt. I should have know, should have seen the signs. There must have been some reason why she had hidden this from me, and I never saw it. I just needed her to be all right. I wanted to fix her, to make everything better. I wanted to turn back time and stop all of this. But even if I could turn back time, I wouldn't know what to do.

After watching Blair's breathing for hours on end, I noticed when she inhaled slightly more and I looked up to see her eyelids moving. Her lashes fluttered, and her brown eyes were visible. She squinted at the light, and I touched her hand, which was suprisingly cold. "Blair?" My voice crackled from lack of speaking, but her head turned to me. As soon as her eyes locked on mine, she knew that I knew her secret.

"Oh, God, Chuck..." Her voice was weak, and tears began forming in the corners of her eyes. My finger touched her lips, and she quieted.

"Blair, don't. I have to call the nurse to check on you now that you're awake, all right?" Blair nodded, and I pressed the button for the nurse's desk.

"Yes?"

"This is Chuck Bass, my wife just woke up."

"I'll send someone down." I placed the device on the table and gently stroked Blair's hand again.

A female came in, obviously a doctor. She came in with Blair's chart in her hand, looking it over. Finally, she looked up at Blair. "Hello, Mrs. Bass. I'm Dr. Shalfeild. How are you feeling?"

Blair cleared her throat. "Disoriented. My whole body hurts."

The doctor nodded. "Disorientation is very normal. Do you know what happened, Mrs. Bass?" Blair shook her head. When Dr. Sheffield started her explanation to Blair, I turned my eyes to the ground. I had heard the explanation once before, I didn't want to hear it again, but I couldn't leave Blair. I tried to think of nothing, but the words "rupture" and "major blood loss" cut through my concentration. Then Blair spoke.

"The baby?" My heart stopped. A part of me had wanted to believe that she wasn't hiding it from me, that she didn't know...but it was true. She had kept this from me.

The doctor was silent for a moment while these thoughts passed through my head. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Bass." Blair's tears spilled over, and choking sobs came up from her chest. Dr. Sheffield turned to me.

"We're going to have to keep her here for at least twenty-four more hours. If she starts bleeding again, we're going to have to do surgery. For now, we're just going to keep an eye on her and keep her on a liquid diet in case she does have to go up to surgery. If everything is fine tomorrow evening, we'll talk about discharge. In the meantime, I'm going to send a counselor down to speak with you. Is that all right?" I nodded. She strode from the room, and Blair looked up at me through her tears.

"Chuck..."

"Blair, don't. We'll talk, just not now. I just need you better."

"I'm sorry." Her tears began flowing faster, and I placed my arm gently around her.

* * *

Blair cried for hours, but she finally went to sleep. My legs began to ache from sitting, and so I stood carefully, so as not to wake Blair, and walked into the waiting room. Serena, Dan, and Lily stood when they saw me. "Charles," Lily said, pulling me into her arms, "How is she?"

"She woke up. I would have called you in to see her, but she was crying most of the time and I figured it wasn't the right time. She's asleep right now."

"Are you okay, Chuck? You look like hell." Serena noted.

"Well, considering you helped my wife lie to me about the baby, I think I'm as good as I can be." I glared at her, and her eyes widened.

"Chuck, I wanted her to tell you, but she wouldn't, and I couldn't make her tell you. I had to do whatever she thought was best, because it wasn't my place to tell you myself. She was going to tell you after the wedding, but she thought if she told you before that you would break up with her."

"That's stupid."

"This is Blair we're talking about," Dan said. "She's lied and manipulated most of the people on the Upper East Side."

I turned to him with fire building in my veins. I could feel my hands shaking with anger. "You want to shut your mouth right now, Humphrey."

"I'm just saying," he continued, "Is this really a surprise to you, of all people? She schemed with and against you for years!"

My fist flew at him, and I felt the satisfactory crack as my knuckles met his nose. He fell backwards into the chairs. I took another step forward, but Lily took hold of my arm, trying to talk to me through my blind rage. "Charles, this isn't going to help! This isn't going to help Blair! This isn't going to turn back time! Let it go!"

Serena, meanwhile, went to grab Dan's arm and help him to his feet. "What the hell, Dan? Really? You couldn't have just kept your mouth shut?" She dragged him and his bleeding nose to the nearest restroom, and I looked at Lily.

"I'm sorry."

"I understand, Charles. Dan shouldn't have said those things. I just don't want anyone else getting hurt. I know you're hurting, Chuck. I'm more worried about Blair. I'm sure she thinks that you're going to leave her now. On top of losing a child that she had wanted to keep secret, she must be terrified." Her hand on my shoulder suddenly felt like a brick. I collapsed into a chair behind me, and Lily sat beside me.

"I don't know what I'm going to do, Lily. If she would lie to me about this, then what else?"

"I don't think Blair would have kept this from you if she didn't have a good reason. Would you like to know my theory?" I nodded. "I think she was so scared that she would lose this one as well that she didn't want to tell you and have you start planning and everything be perfect, and then the bottom fall out." I looked down to the floor, absorbing this.

"You're right." I said quietly. Lily's hand rubbed across my back.

"Just let her know that it's all right. Let her know that you won't leave her. Let her know that you understand she wouldn't have kept this from you if it hadn't been for a good reason. Let her know that you'll be here to help her through this." I nodded and stood.

"Thank you, Lily." I pulled her into an embrace, and she held me tight for a moment.

"I'm going to go down the street and grab some coffee. Would you like me to bring you something?"

"That would be nice, Lily. Thank you." I walked back to Blair's room. She was still asleep. She looked so peaceful for the first time in weeks. I sat down in the chair next to her bed and began to doze off.

* * *

The sound of voices brought me back, and I opened my eyes. Lily was standing on the other side of the bed, and Blair was awake. She had tilted the head of her bed in more of a sitting position and she was talking quietly with Lily. I cleared my throat, and both of them looked over in surprise. "Charles!" Lily walked around the bed and handed me a tall paper cup. "It's still warm." I nodded gratefully, taking a long swig of the mocha liquid.

"Chuck?" Blair's voice was small and frightened. I looked at her, sitting up.

"Blair. Are you...still in any pain?" I almost asked if she was feeling better, but it felt too insensitive.

"A bit. It's better now. They gave me some medicine." I nodded, taking her hand.

Lily cleared he throat. "Well, I'm going to go back out and see if Serena or Dan need anything."

"Oh, Lily, don't stay here on my behalf, you should go home," Blair insisted.

"I'm perfectly fine, and Serena is insisting on staying here until you're discharged. I don't know about Dan, he's having a fight with Rufus and needed out of the house, although I'm sure he'll take Rufus at this point." Lily looked at me and we chuckled. Blair looked at me, confused.

"I'll explain later." I smiled at her. Lily hugged us both, lingering with Blair, and left. I looked back to Blair, who was avoiding my gaze. "Blair, I'd like to talk."

"Oh, God," she breathed. I squeezed her hand.

"Blair, will you look at me, please?" She slowly turned to meet my eyes. I could see that she was scared, and my heart ached for her. My hand reached out to stroke her cheek. "Blair...I know you're hurting. I just want you to know that I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I know that you wouldn't have kept this from me if you didn't have a good reason."

"Chuck, I'm so sorry. I was so scared. I thought that..."

"Blair, you don't have to tell me now. You can tell me if and when you're ready." She nodded hesitantly.

"There is something I think you should know..." I sat quietly while she got her thoughts. "When I went to the doctor for the first checkup, I was told the date of conception." She faltered and went silent. I nodded, encouraging her. "It was...the night of the funeral."

I forgot to breathe. My mind immediately went back to that night, and the morning after...the look on Blair's face, her fear...

"Oh God, Blair..." I whispered. Tears began streaming down her cheeks again, and I wiped them away with my thumb. "Is that why you didn't tell me?"

"It was part of the reason."

"When did you find out?"

"The night you proposed. I was going to tell you that night, but I couldn't ruin it, and everything just got so complicated and it was never the right time, and then I learned when it was conceived and I just...I couldn't. I didn't know how...I didn't want to disappoint you."

I laughed. "Blair, you could never disappoint me. I love you."

Blair smiled a tiny smile. "I've been so worried that you wouldn't love me anymore. I love you, too, Chuck."

I sighed, taking her hand in mine. "Next time will be different. You won't have to feel like it has to be a secret. We'll do it right."

"You mean...you still want to have a family with me? After everything I've done? After all thats happened?" Blair paused and when she spoke again, her voice was soft and filled with shame. "I'm not even sure if I can have a baby. This is the second time I've lost..." Her voice trailed off, but I took my finger under her chin and turned her to look at me.

"Blair, I love you. You're not the only one who has gone through this kind of thing. Some people have a harder time carrying a baby to term. With your medical history, it probablly is harder for you. But it's okay. I love you, and I'm willing to try as long as you want to. I want to have a familiy with you. Whatever it takes, I'll do it. For you, Blair." Tears were once again in her eyes, but she brushed them away with her untubed hand. I examined the hand with the IV in it.

"Does it hurt?" I had never had an IV that I could remember.

Blair shrugged. "If I move it, it hurts a bit. Mostly it's uncomfortable." I nodded, and there was a knock on the door. "Come in," Blair said just loud enough for them to hear. The door opened, and a short woman poked her head in.

"Mr. and Mrs. Bass?" I nodded, and she walked into the room, closing the door behind her. "I'm Dr. Sanchez, I'm the greif councelor. I specialize in talking with parents who have lost a child. How are you, Mrs. Bass?"

"I'm a bit better. It still hurts, but I feel better with my husband here." It was a sad occasion, but my heart twinged in joy. It was the first time she had reffered to me as her husband.

Dr. Sanchez turned to me. "And how are you, Mr. Bass? How are you coping with this?"

I thought for a minute. "I'm just glad that my wife is all right. I know that we can try again. But I can't replace her, and I'm glad that she's all right. I'm lucky that I woke up before she bled any further. I feel very fourtunate. I'm sad, of course, but I know that we will have our time, we're just going to have to fight for it as long as we can."

"That's a very good point, Mr. Bass. Mrs. Bass, I understand this isn't your first time losing a child?"

Blair nodded. "I was seven months pregnant. His heart had some kind of defect and stopped."

"And how did you cope with this, Mr. Bass?"

I shook my head. "She was married to Nathaniel Archibald at the time."

"Oh, dear. I heard about his death in the paper. I'm so sorry for both of your losses, Mrs. Bass." Blair smiled in thanks, and Dr. Sanchez patted her hand warmly. "Well, you will be able to try again in a few weeks, if you are feeling emotionally and physically up to it. I'm going to leave my card in your take-home papers, and you can call me anytime you need to. I would set up another appointment for a few days from now, but I don't think you need it. You both seem of sound mind, and I'm very glad to see how well this tragic loss is handled. There is no psychological reason I see to have you kept here. I wish you both the best." She turned to me. "Mr. Bass, could I speak with you for a moment?" I looked to Blair, and she nodded.

Dr. Sanchez led me out into the hallway. "I know this is a hard time for the both of you, but I like what you said in there. I wish more parents had your attitude, but I understand the heartbreak. Mrs. Bass is going to need you close for the next few days, and you need to keep that attitude. She'll eventually be able to see it, and her hope will renew faster with your help. Don't give up hope, Mr. Bass." Her hand rested on my shoulder. "I know a couple in love when I see one. There's no way that God will let you two be lonely."

"Thank you, Doctor." I smiled with genuine thanks.

"Don't be afraid to call anytime you need me." She waved a goodbye, and I walked back into the room. Blair's eyes were closed, her monitor beeping slightly slower in her sleep. I quietly crept over to my chair and sat down, closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep, her hand in mine.

* * *

**A/N: Well, I hope you all liked this chapter! I'm sorry that the baby had to die, but it brought Blair and Chuck closer together in the process.**

**Good news! I've bribed my boyfriend into watching Gossip Girl! I've got both seasons on DVD, and the third season is on my DVR! I rule! **

**Until next time. XOXO  
**


	14. Home

**A/N: I'm very happy that everyone liked the last chapter. I was so worried that I was going to lose readers due to my decision to lose the baby. But I'm glad that everyone understood why I did it.**

**svenjen - Yeah, my school kicked me out for having a kid. I would be in my senior year right now. I don't own a car (and I just got another job, so I'll have a car soon) and we don't have enough money for day care, so I had a problem with school and transportation. they wouldn't let me do home study, they wouldn't let me do co-op because they said that being a mother is not a job (BS!), they wouldn't let me do night classes at the local uni because they wouldn't accept credits from anywhere else, and they wouldn't let me go half a day (because my mom would be able to watch the baby until she had to be at work at 11AM) because they said only second-year seniors were allowed to leave before the day is over. They told me I could either come back for the entire day or drop out. I told them that I had no way that I could come back for the entire day, and I refused to drop out, so they kicked me out. And here's the kicker: A girl my age cheated on her boyfriend (who I am now dating) and dumped him when the guy she was cheating with proposed to her, and she dropped out of school to get pregnant. The school councelor started to bring her name up and I told them "She is a psycho, I've had to work with her in class. I am a different person, and if you dare suggest that I follow in her footsteps, I will make sure your name is plastered in every paper within 50 miles". The plan for now is to get my GED...as for college...I dont know if I'll ever have the time and money to go.**

**Your-Guilty-Pleasure - WHAT???? ONLY HOOKING ARMS????? HUH???????!!!!!!!!!!! **

**ilovecujo1993 - It's not over, I assure you. Not even close. I'm not sure how far it's going to go, but I've still got some twists to pump out. As for my prom dress, I don't have the money to buy a new one, so I'm going to wear the dress I wore to my sophomore homecoming. It's long and dark teal, it's made out of a flowy, shiny material, and theres some sheer fabric at the top and going around and hanging at the back. It's spaghetti straps, but one strap got broken last time I wore it, so my mom is supposed to fix it for me. I'm wearing these silve sparkle heels that are like 3 inches high, and a clutch puse that matches the shoes. I'm not sure how I'm going to do my hair yet. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to take care of my baby and be ready to leave when my mom gets home at 8:30. **

**I finally bribed my boyfriend into watching Gossip Girl, which we shall do tonight. I've got so much going on, so I apoligize for not being able to update as much as I'd like. I've got doctor appointments, meetings, play dates, and orientation. Then my mom is off this weekend which means we will be cleaning like crazy. Then next tuesday my dad is coming to get his stuff, then next Saturday is prom! I'm freaking out. **

**As for the story, I'm going to twine in some more recent story lines, and then I'm going to put in MY outcome....*wink wink* You'll see what I mean...  
**

* * *

**CPOV**

"Oh my God, I can't wait to get home!" Blair said as I handed her the maxi sundress that Serena had brought for her. It was long and red, with big flowers. She slipped out of the hospital gown and pulled the dress over her head without getting out of the bed.

"We've still got to wait for the doctor to bring your paperwork." I noted, taking the gown from her and throwing it over the back of a chair in the corner.

"I know, I just wish they would hurry up!" As soon as Blair spoke, the doctor came in.

"Well, Mrs. Bass, are you ready to go home?" Blair nodded. "I've got some paperwork for your husband on how to care for you, things to watch for, things like that. I've written a prescription for you for the pain. How are the both of you feeling?" I looked to Blair for her answer.

"I'm sad. I feel like I should have done things differently. I know that we can try again, though, and this time we will do it right." I nodded in agreement.

"If you are both emotionally ready to try again, you can start after your first menstrual period." Blair nodded, and then noticed the wheelchair the doctor had pulled in behind her.

"I'm walking out of here, right?"

"No, Mrs. Bass, you have to go in this wheelchair to your car or taxi. You need to stay at home and in bed for at least three or four days." Blair groaned and her head flopped back into the pillow. I laughed and took the papers from the doctor. "You both take care. Good luck to you." I nodded in thanks, taking the wheelchair and rolling it next to the bed.

"I don't understand," Blair complained as she shifted into the chair, "Why I can't just walk out. I've walked from the bed to the bathroom all day without a problem, I don't see why I have to have this chair just to get out the door."

"Blair, it's all right! You cn walk from the limo to the elevator, and from the elevator to the bedroom, okay?" She groaned, and I pushed her out into the hall. When we reached the waiting room, Serena jumped up.

"Blair, I knew that dress would look amazing! I bought it for you as a wedding present, I stopped by your penthouse to pick it up."

"Thank you, S. I love it." Blair smiled at Serena, and I was suddenly more thankful for Serena's presence here. For the past twenty-four hours, Blair's smiles had ben pained and obviously forced. Serena brought out the first genuine smile I had seen in the hospital.

Serena held Blair's hand as we walked out to where the limo was waiting. "I'm sorry, B. I would come back with you, but I've got to go home and mediate the fight that's brewing. I hate it when it gets like this. But I promise I'll call you later tonight, and I'll come visit tomorrow, okay?" Blair nodded. Serena said her goodbyes and I helped Blair into the limo.

As we finally pulled away from the hospital, I looked at Blair. Now that we were out of the fluorescent hospital lights, I could see how pale and shallow she looked. There was a hint of a dark circle under her eyes. She held herself at an awkward angle, slouched to the side, with one arm wrapped around her waist. "Blair?" She glanced at me. "Are you...are you okay?" I asked cautiously.

She turned away from me to rest the side of her face against the window. "No. I'm not okay. I keep screwing this up."

"Blair, it wasn't your fault."

"It could have been. All the stress? You know for a fact that if I had told you, you would have made me stop putting myself to the grindstone with the wedding, if you didn't just call it off." She looked at me, and I dropped my head in a silent confirmation. "This is the second baby I've lost. It has to be something I'm doing wrong."

"Blair, you didn't do anything wrong. It would have happened if you had told me or not, whether we had gotten married or not, whether I had been drunk or sober when it happened. Nothing we do is going to change it, nothing we could have done would change it. All we can do is grieve and try again." I pulled her to look at me. "I'm not giving up. I want a family with you, and I know we can do it. We've gotten through this much, Blair. We can push through this. If anyone is strong enough to pull through, you are." The limo stopped in front of out building, but I didn't let her go. "Blair, we can do this. You have to trust me." She stared into my eyes for the longest time. After a minute or so, she finally nodded slowly. I reached to open the door, and I took her hand to help her out.

I shut the door to the limo behind her and took her arm, leading her to the entrance. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a red-haired girl snapping a picture with her cell phone, one that would surely end up on Gossip Girl within the hour. I would have to remember to slip Blair's phone away from her when we got into the penthouse. I didn't want her getting upset again. We had dealt with enough for one day.

Blair clung to my arm as the elevator moved upwards as though she would crumple to the ground at any moment. I had the feeling she wasn't having as easy a time walking as she had let on. I didn't blame her. I wanted to get out of that drab hospital room as well.

The elevator doors finally opened into our penthouse, and I helped her in, turning on lights as we made our way to the bedroom. When we reached the bed, she let go of my arm and leaned against the bed, closing her eyes and inhaling slowly. I was silent for a moment before I touched her shoulder. "Blair?" She didn't open her eyes. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Chuck," she whispered with her eyes still closed. I leaned down, slowly and gently touching my lips to hers. She responded before I pulled away. Her eyes were still closed.

"Is there anything I can get you? Anything you need?"

She was silent for a moment, thinking it over. "I think I could eat some real food. Nothing with chicken broth, and nothing to do with jello, please. Maybe some pasta?"

I nodded. "You feel up to eating something?"

"I haven't had anything but broth since the...the reception. Starving myself won't change anything that's happened, it'll only make things harder."

I processed this, and turned to leave, but a single thought stopped me in my tracks. "Blair, not eating when something was bothering you was never your problem." I turned to look at her. "Blair, you have to promise me you're not going to do anything stupid and reckless, like making yourself throw up." Her eyes shifted from mine for a split second, and she nodded. I had to trust her, but I would have to keep an eye on her, and I had an idea of how I was going to do that.

I turned and left, going into the kitchen. I pulled my Blackberry from my pocket and began texting as I put a pot of water to boil. After sending it, I stood drumming my fingers against the counter, staring absentmindedly into the pot of water as it slowly began steaming. I was pouring a box of fettuchini noodles into the pot when my Blackberry began to buzz on the counter. I snatched it and read the incoming text. I felt my lips curl into a satisfied smile. I knew Dorota would agree to become our maid if I offered her twice the pay and an apartment on the floor below us.

I twirled the spoon in the pasta water as I dumped a jar of alfredo sauce into another empty pan. I reached into the refrigerator and grabbed the leftover chicken tenders, tossing them into the microwave and then chopping them up. I strained the pasta, pouring it into two bowls. The sauce was bubbling, and I dumped it over the pasta, topping it with the chicken. I reached into the cabinet for a tray table and placed each bowl on it, along with two glasses of ice water, and picked it up.

When I entered the bedroom, Blair looked up at me with wide eyes. I rushed over, placing the tray on the bedside table. "Blair, what's wrong?" My eyes slid down to the object in her hands.

"Chuck..." she turned her phone for me to read. At the top was a picture of Blair, clinging to my arm as I took her inside the building. She was deathly pale, and she looked even more frail and weak in the picture than she did sitting in the bed. Underneath was a small paragraph.

**Gossip Girl here, and I've got the biggest news since the latest pair of Loubatons hit the shelves. Spotted: C practically carrying B, who looked like a corpse. They haven't been seen since the big wedding, but we all assumed they were holed up in the Hamptons for their honeymoon. So what were they doing sneaking back into their penthouse? S also spotted helping Lonely Boy hail a cab outside of the hospital...and Lonely Boy was covered in blood? No picture to confirm this, but I'm sure we're all wondering if the two incidents are connected. I'm going to get to the bottom of this scandal, and you better believe you'll hear it here first. XOXO, Gossip Girl.**

I groaned. "Blair, I'm so sorry." She opened the drawer in the bedside table and threw her phone inside, slamming it shut. I handed her the steaming bowl, and she took it. I slid into the bed beside her, watching as she slowly took the first bite.

We were both silent as we ate. Blair was the first to push her bowl away. "Thank you, Chuck." I took both of our bowls and set them back on the table.

"Blair, are you all right?"

"I don't know, Chuck. I feel like I'm walking in a daydream right now." I nodded, and she looked at me. "When do you have to go back to work?"

I cleared my throat. "I've decided that I'm going to take my shares from Bass Industries and invest it somewhere else. Go out on my own. I'll find out tomorrow if I've got it."

"Chuck, that's great," she said while trying to stifle a yawn.

"Blair, we should probablly go to sleep." She nodded, turning the light off next to her. I scooted closer to her, wrapping my arm around her waist and giving her one last kiss on the cheekbone before closing my eyes.

* * *

**BPOV**

I woke up to the sound of Chuck climbing back into the bed. I looked at the clock. "Chuck, it's 8:30, what are you doing?" I turned to see the huge smile on his face. "Chuck, what happened?"

"You are looking at the new owner of the Empire hotel."

* * *

**A/N: *Dun dun dun!* Now you see what I was talking about. I'm planning on bringing in Chuck's mother, and the Jack Bass plot line...but how will I make the line my own? You'll have to wait and see.**

**And I would like everyone to note that even though I will be using some of the plot lines from the actual episodes and some actual quotes, as this is a fanfiction I'm going to make it my own. So keep the "He never said that." and the "He didn't say that word, he said this word!" comments to yourself. **

**That's all I've got for now! Enjoy!**

**Until next time. XOXO  
**


	15. On Top of the World

**A/N: I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this next chapter posted. It's fairly long and I've had to re-write it about three times, so I'm anticipating the reactions to this chapter. It's also a new season in Gossip Girl, and I'd like your opinions on this season's Chair. Here's a quickie from me:**

**1) I hated Eva before she even came on. I was biased to Chair. **

**2) War at the Roses: watched about 5000000 times on the DVR. In my opinion, that piano scene topped the limo scene. More heat. Yummy.**

**3) I HATED that they decided to stay apart after ALL of THAT! **

**4) Dair...One letter away from dairy. They both spoil quickly and become so nasty you can barely stand it. **

**So when you comment, let me know your opinions on 1) Eva, 2) Your favorite Ep/scene, 3) producers teasing us with this 'Chair, no Chair" game, 4) Dair'y, and 5) The following chapter!**

**BPOV**

Two weeks later, we were lodged in the penthouse of the Empire; Dorota had the apartment below us and was frequently running back and forth from our penthouse to her place. Serena was at the penthouse more than Chuck was, and I knew she was trying to keep an eye on me as a favor to Chuck. She had more important things she could be doing, like scanning the streets for a male on a Vespa. I won't say I didn't have the urge to make myself throw up or worse, but I didn't want them to worry about me.

I was lying in bed with my MacBook when Chuck came in. Instinctively, I straightened my red velvet robe and ran my fingers quickly through my hair. A few seconds later, the doors to the bedroom swung open, and Chuck ambled in, looking very much worn out. He kicked off his shoes and flopped back on the bed, closing his eyes and breathing deep. I set my computer aside and leaned forward, running my fingers lightly through his hair. I waited for him to speak, not wanting to push him if he didn't want to. After a minute, his eyes snapped open, and he looked up at me. "Blair, I love you."

I chuckled lightly. "When did you come to this realization?"

Chuck sat up and grabbed my shoulders. "No, Blair. I love you. I do. I want you to know that."

His seriousness startled me. "Chuck, what's wrong?"

"Just...Everything that's happened kind of hit me today." He shook his head. "I just...I just wanted you to know that I love you."

My head quickly did the math. "Oh, Chuck..." I lightly touched his face. "Tomorrow..."

"Tomorrow is nothing, Blair," He said sternly. My jaw snapped shut. The fire in his eyes banished the words from my throat. The sudden anger scared me. After everything that had happened, I couldn't handle anything anymore, especially not Chuck being angry with me. As though he could read my mind, his eyes melted, and his hand caressed my arm. "I'm sorry, Blair. You have to understand the relationship I had with my father...I don't want to be reminded of his death."

I nodded, still afraid to speak. Chuck stood up, stripping off his suit as he made his way to the closet. I leaned back into the pillows. I was worried for Chuck. I knew the anniversary of his father's death wouldn't be easy for him, and I wanted to protect him from any more pain. I had to make sure that I could be there for him. I didn't want him going through the day on his own. He had been there through these horrible weeks, and even though it was rough, I had been holding back as much as I could. I owed it to him. I needed to help him. I rolled over, sticking my nose into the pillow and inhaling the light rose scent, feeling a touch of dread creeping into me as I thought about what tomorrow would entail. A few minutes later, I was vaguely aware of Chuck sliding into bed next to me and turning off the light. His hand draped itself across my waist, and I surrendered to sleep.

I woke up earlier than usual the next morning, but I was wide awake. Chuck was still asleep, so I quietly and slowly slid out of bed. Once I slipped out of the bedroom, I wasn't quite sure what to do. I found myself in the kitchen staring into the fridge, randomly pulling out foods that sounded good for breakfast. When Chuck came ambling into the kitchen an hour later, I was coordinating several different breakfast items on the stove and transferring them onto plates. He sat down at the table, carefully unfolding the newspaper that was laid at our door on a daily basis. I noted that he was in a suit and tie – I hadn't even heard him get up.

I sat a still-sizzling plate of fried eggs, blueberry pancakes, and maple bacon in front of him. He quickly skipped the front page after skimming it and opened to the second page of the newspaper, ignoring the plate. "I made you some breakfast, Chuck." I glanced at the front page. "One Year Since Bass Death…But Where Is The Company Now?" read the headline.

Chuck nodded at the paper. "Thank you, Blair, but I'm not very hungry. You go ahead and eat it. You've been looking a bit pale, and I know you're not eating enough." My throat closed up, and the room slowly seemed to shrink. This was how it was going to be today. I didn't know if I could handle this. But I had to. I had to. I felt myself begin to sway, and I slid down in the chair in front of me. Chuck glanced up at me for a second and slid the plate toward me, looking back to the paper. "See what I mean, Blair? You can barely stand because your blood sugar is so low. Take care of yourself for once."

I exhaled slowly. "It's not like I don't eat, Chuck. But I only eat what I can eat; I'm not going to eat if I'm not hungry."

Chuck closed his eyes, slowly putting the paper flat on the table. "How often do you eat, Blair? Once a day? I barely ever see you eat anything."

"You're at work most of the day, Chuck; you're not the best judge of how much I eat in a day."

"God damnit, Blair!" He stood quickly, overturning the chair, and slamming his fist on the table. "I can't fucking take care of you every damned second! Stop living in the fucking past and get on with your fucking life! The baby is DEAD, Blair, YOU'RE NOT. Stop fucking acting like it!" His hand swept out, and the plate of food went flying across the room. I was vaguely aware of the plate crashing against the fridge, the pieces falling to the floor. I couldn't unlock my eyes from his. I felt like I was the plate, my heart was crashing to the floor. I was shattering to pieces. A tear fell onto the back of my hand. I could feel his hot breath on my face, full of rage. My breath was coming in ragged, choking sobs. He closed his eyes. "I don't have time to argue with you. I have to get to work." He turned and swept out of the room. I heard the ping of the elevator, the swishing of the doors, and the dead silence that followed. I felt my hands shaking, almost vibrating.

Slowly, I stood, my legs shaking. I frantically looked around for something to distract me. I wobbled over to the pile of broken glass. The plate had knocked a picture off of the fridge as it hit, and I picked it up to look at it. It was one of me and Chuck…before everything. Before the baby, before the wedding, before Nate's death, before the limo…Us in our freshman year. Serena and I decided to gather our closer friends for a picnic before Thanksgiving break. Chuck and I were smiling, his silly plaid scarf flapping on my arm, my head leaning on his shoulder. My hair was a hot mess of touseled curls, and Chuck's was a short, glittering mess. The reds and yellows and oranges of the leaves in the background perfectly matched our clothes, and our smiles were glistening white. I closed my eyes, and I could almost smell the fall-like scent, almost hear Chuck's laughter as Nate threw a handful of soggy leaves at him, starting a huge fight.

My eyes snapped back open. I put the picture back on the fridge and began scooping up the pieces of glass. I felt a crack, and quickly brought my hand to my face. A piece of glass was sticking out of my palm. I pulled it out and watched as a bead of blood grew slowly. I watched as I moved the piece of glass closer and closer to my arm, as if I were a million miles away, watching as though it was someone else. I thought it was funny how the pain of Chuck deadened the pain of the glass…

**CPOV**

I had locked myself up in my office all day. I surrounded myself by meaningless papers, trying to distract myself. Every once in a while, my gaze would slip up, and I would glance at the picture of Blair and I on our wedding day. She and I were so happy. Well, I was. I couldn't be so sure Blair was as happy as I was. She was trying so hard to hide her pregnancy. But in this picture…our smiles matched, the light in her eyes was almost blinding…I could almost make myself believe that she was just as happy.

I felt insanely guilty for yelling at her this morning. I frightened her, I knew that, but I couldn't bring myself to call up to the penthouse and apologize. My ego wouldn't let me do anything other than apologize in person. I sighed and grabbed the phonebook, looking up the number of the nearest florist to buy a large bouquet of peonies. I was scanning the page when someone lightly knocked on the door. My heart jumped, and I straightened my tie. "Come in," I said, my voice a higher pitch than I had intended.

The door opened, and a mess of blonde hair came in with an arm full of yellow roses. I felt myself slump back into the chair in disappointment, flogging myself for thinking Blair would come down after what I did. "Lily. How can I help you?"

Lily closed the door behind her and ran the fingers of her free hand through her hair. "Charles, it's so good to see you. How are you?" She sat in the chair on the other side of the desk. I shook my head, avoiding her gaze. "Charles, I know it has to be a hard day for you. I was wondering if you would come with me to visit your father's grave. I've bought his favorite flowers…"

"I'm sorry, Lily," I said, standing, "but I can't."

"I know how your father was to you, Charles. I married the man. But he was your father. I know you haven't gone to his grave, even when Nate died and it was so near."

"I have my reasons, Lily. I don't intend to…" Another knock at the door interrupted me, and the front receptionist poked his head in. "What is it?" I snapped, annoyed that he didn't wait for permission.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Bass, but it's an emergency. There's a woman on the roof, and we can't get her down, I was called and told to have you come at once."

"As you can see, I'm busy. It is also not my job to call jumpers down from the roof. I am not the only one in this building. Who you should have called is the fire department."

"Mr. Bass, I was only told to get you to the roof immediately."

Lily spoke, her voice shaking. "Charles…it's not…"

"Did they give a description of the woman? A name? Something?"

"No, Mr. Bass."

My mind began racing. Blair couldn't do something so stupid. She wouldn't. She had to know that I wasn't upset because of her. No matter how scared she was…she couldn't leave me…I'd be alone…I wasn't Chuck Bass without her…and it would be my fault.

I shoved the receptionist out of the way and bolted for the emergency stairs.

**BPOV**

The stars seemed like glitter in the night sky. There was a slight breeze up on the roof, and it was quiet, with the exception of a man I had never seen shouting at me. I blocked him out; he wasn't important. There were no sounds at all. I had pressed my own personal "Mute" button. Even my thoughts were silenced, and for that, I was grateful. The only thing passing through my mind was just the dream I had the night Bart Bass had died.

Chuck had been standing on a roof, and I had called him down. He was going to jump, the look in his eyes was so scary. "I'm Chuck Bass!" He screamed to the city.

I closed my eyes, whisking the dream away. Tears began rolling down my cheeks before I could stop them. A breeze picked up and swept my loose curls out behind me. I had no sense of time, no idea how long I stood there with my eyes closed before one voice cut through my serenity like a knife.

"Blair, NO!" Chuck's voice screamed from behind me. The pure fear in his voice was unmistakable. I turned to face him. "Blair, please, get down."

I blinked. "Chuck, I'm sorry."

"Blair," he said, taking a step forward, "don't do this. Please."

"I'm sorry," I repeated. "I just can't do this anymore. Look at me, Chuck. Is this what I am now? I'm a mess. I thought it would get better with time, but it's all just getting worse. I'm Blair Waldorf. I used to have everything, I was the Queen B. Now I can barely find the strength to step out of the penthouse."

"Blair, I love you!" Chuck screamed, and his breath was ragged. He was crying.

"Who am I now, Chuck? I'm nothing!" My voice was hoarse and broken, just like my body.

"You're everything! You're everything!" Chuck sobbed. The pain in my chest grew worse.

"I've lost everything. There's a reason I lost the baby, Chuck." I was no longer able to get my voice any louder than a whisper, but I knew Chuck could hear me.

"God wouldn't put us through anything we couldn't get through, Blair."

"Well, he was wrong. I couldn't handle it."

"He never said we'd be able to handle it, only that we would get through it. Please, Blair! We can get through it together! Please don't leave me!" Chuck's hands curled into fists as he pled. His tears sparkled in the moonlight as they fell.

"I've already lost you, too."

"No." Chuck's voice broke, and his words were so soft that I could barely hear them. the only sound was that of pure agony. "You'll never lose me. Not even if you jump off that ledge. I'll be right behind you. You'll never lose me."

"Chuck…"

He took a step forward, and I could see in his eyes that each step was torture. He thought that if he got too close, I would jump out of fear that he would stop me by physical force. "I know I've been distant. I know it's wrong. It's how I coped when my father died. It's how I'm used to dealing with things. You knew my father, I couldn't say five words to him without him turning it into a lecture about how worthless I was. After I let you go, I started to believe all those talks. And then, by some fucked-up twist of fate, my best friend died to bring us back together. I almost walked away, and it was almost the stupidest thing I've ever done. But this…this would top it, Blair. If I let you take the easy way out…If I let you go…If I stood here and watched and let you go…it would be the worst thing…it would be as though I killed you myself." I couldn't stop the sob that came up from the core of my being. "Blair…" He fell to his knees. "Please. I'm not Chuck Bass without you. I love you, with everything I have. Please."

"Chuck…I love you." I felt my knees begin to buckle. I couldn't breathe, the feeling of despair filling me to the brim, my breaking heart finally exploding, the pain peaking, the dark edges at my vision moving again, faster, so that all I saw for that split second was Chuck's face. "Help me."

I was taken by the black before I even began to fall.

**A/N: Soooo...Your thoughts? I know, I know, cliffie, I'm evil, blah blah blah. BUT I'm working on chapter 16 immediately, and so you won't have to wait long. What do you think happened? Remember, you never know what to expect from me! Muwahahaha!**


	16. Fallen

**A/N: Well, I posted this chapter once already. Reason why you didn't see it until now? Because when I pressed "Save", fanfiction logged me out. Of course. So, Here we go.**

**CPOV**

Nothing felt real. I kept forgetting to breathe. I didnt even want to keep breathing. I kept trying to count, but I couldn't get past three. Because there were only three things I was certain of anymore.

One,

I loved her. I loved her so much, it killed me. The happiness I felt when I was with her was almost painful. I loved her. Blair.

Two,

Everything I ever cared about was gone.

Three,

It was my fault.

I sat in the same spot for hours. I felt the time sweeping by, like a bird grazing a tree. People came in and out of the room. They had no face with me. Serena came at some point, her hand clasped tightly on my shoulder. I wouldn't look at her. I couldn't. She knew it was my fault. I felt her tears fall on my arm. Some hours later, I realized she was gone.

I couldn't count the hours that I sat there. Frozen. My eyes never leaving that one spot.

Until.

Lily came in. Her voice was louder, obviously trying to snap me out of whatever hole I was in. I blinked.

"Chuck...please...here." She took my hand and wrapped it around a cardboard cup. Steam was seeping through the lid. I vaguely recognized the green and white logo, but my confusion must have shown on my face. "It's a coffee. Skim, two sugars. Just thee way you like it. Be careful, its hot, Chuck..." I lifted the cup to my lips and smiled as the liquid scorched my tongue. I could barely feel it.

"Chuck...I'm so sorry...Blair-"

"Dont. Say. Her. Name." My fingers dug into the cardboard, warping the green and white.

"I know it hurts..."

"You _don't _know! You don't know ANYTHING!" The coffee exploded as it hit the ground. I was standing. I was shaking in fury. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! This was MY FAULT!" Two tears slipped through my eyes. "It was my fault." Just as my knees buckled, Lily caught me. My tears came in a steady flow. I was choking on my own sobs until I made no sound at all. And Lily held me. We cried together, a mess of tears and spilled coffee. And the one memory that I used all of my strength to keep at bay finally made its way into the forefront of my mind.

_"Chuck...I love you." Her eyelids began to droop. She swayed. Just a tiny bit, but I saw it. I was frozen. Her eyes locked into mine for that one second. "Help me," She whispered. Her eyes closed.  
_

_And then everything happened slowly. Because Blair...**my** Blair...began to fall. _

_I threw myself at her. My left hand grazed her shoulder, but my right hand caught her arm. The thought passed through my mind that we would both go over, but most of my body hit the low wall and as I rebounded, I had a grip on her with both hands. The next thing I knew, she was lying on the ground next to me. It was only a few seconds, but my impact on the ground made me lose time. _

_"Move, move, move!" The EMT's came rushing to Blair as I sat up, not letting go of her hand. She was put on a red backboard and lifted. Even as we made our way downstairs, I never let go. The EMT's placed her onto a gurney and I kept the firm grip on her hand as they lifted her into the ambulance. My eyes never left her face. She was limp, so weak. I couldn't even tell if she was breathing. They stuck an IV in her arm. They needed to give her blood._

_"O Positive," I answered. _

_I never heard what they said was wrong with her. There were only three things going through my mind. One, two, three. _

_I coul only hear the faint beeping on the heart monitor. Onetwothree._

_I loved her._

_She was...**is**...my everything._

_I lost her._

_It's my fault._

**A/N: I know, it's a really sad chapter. But the story needed to be in Chuck's mind, especially on the roof. Sorry it was so short, too, but it felt right to me. I'll be working on the next chapter as much as I can, but I've got some other things I have to work on. My mom kicked me and my song out last night (as she does pretty much every night she is off work), and I ended up actually leaving. But by the end of the night, I was back home after promising I would try to live by her rules. Which means I hav to keep the house clean through the eyes of a minimalist (and I'm not messy, but I'm not the neatest person in the world, which is why my mom calls me a pig on a daily basis), take care of myself and my son (since she claims his diaper rash is because I never give him a bath, which I actually do on a daily basis. Also, it's only the second time he has had a rash, the first time being a year ago. I'm completely serious.) She says that I didn't mop when I said I did, because the mop was dry at 10PM when I mopped at 2 in the afternoon. I'm serious. But I'm studying to challenge the GED test, and then I can enroll in college. There's family housing on campus, and I can only hope that it can be covered under financial aid. **

**Anyways, in other words, it might take me a while to write the next chapter. In the meantime, your comments keep me going.  
**


	17. Tumor

**A/N: I am really happy with how my last chapter turned out, even though I only got one comment (Even though it was one from one of my favorite authors, Possibilist). My birthday is this Friday, and I'm having a few people over, even though I don't really feel like celebrating. It's actually crossed my mind to cancel it, because I just don't have the energy to put on a happy face. All I really want to do is lay in bed and read. I also have to work that morning. I am, however, going to the local college to sign up to challenge the GED test, and the test is the first saturday of every month. So inbetween studying for the GED, reading, stressing, working, and taking care of my son, I'll be writing.  
**

**CPOV**

I had to have drifted off. As I was drifting back into consciousness, I was vaguely aware of the loud voices and scuffling of multiple sets of feet. The thin hospital matress was shaking under my cheek. I tried to open my eyes and sit up. What I saw was a splash of cold water, and I was immediately awake.

Because what I saw was Blair's thin, pale body shaking of its own accord. Thrashing. Seizing.

The doctors and nurses were shouting at each other, and I tried to understand what they said. It was all medical lingo, and it was hopeless.

A nurse asked me to step back, and I was suddenly pressing myself into a corner, trying to make the scene unfolding in front of me somehow disappear.

It seemed like hours before her body fell back into the matress, ceasing it's movements. Her eyes had not opened throughout the entire thing.

One, two, three.

The last time I had seen her brown eyes had been under a star-covered sky.

I loved her.

The last tears I had shed had been the ones in Lily's arms.

I lost her.

The last time I was so scared for Blair...

It was my fault.

And then I was jerked back into the room by the words I never wanted..._never thought I would have to hear_.

"Mr. Bass, we just stopped your wife's seizure, but we got her head scans back, and we do believe she has a tumor, which could have been the reason why she lost consciousness and the cause of the seizure. We need to get her into the OR now, with your permission, of course. You can sign the papers while we take her if you approve, because we're afraid that if she has another seizure, she may never wake up. We need to operate now if you wish to save her life. Do we have your permission Mr. Bass?"

My mouth hung open. My Blair. _My _Blair. My everything.

One, Two, Three.

"Yes," I said. A single tear slid down my cheek. "Please. Save her."

"Yes! GO!" The nurse yelled, and I watched as they started to push her bed to the door. The nurse turned back to me. She had brown eyes. "You have to understand, Mr. Bass, that this may not help. She could have something else, and it only enabled us to find the tumor. This doesn't mean she will wake up, Mr. Bass."

My back began to slide down the wall. "I'm Chuck Bass. She can't leave me. Without her...I'm nothing. She can't just leave. Not like this. She's Blair Waldorf. I'm CHUCK BASS!" I brought my fists down onto the linoleum. I looked back up at the nurse. She was frightened. She didn't know how to react to my downfall. "Yes, dear. I understand. But I also understand that it could be her only hope. So please. Do whatever you can to bring her back to me. She's all I've got. I love her." She nodded.

Then I was alone.

And it was my fault.

I didn't know how many hours passed. I closed my eyes in the empty room. I opened them, and two people were wheeling a bed back into the room. "Mr. Bass?" I looked up. It was the nurse again. She kneeled down next to me and placed her hand over mine. "This is very good news, Mr. Bass. The tumor was very small, even though we do believe it was the cause of the seizure and the coma. She has a small two-inch incision at the base of her hairline, and so she's extremely lucky in the respect that we never put the razor to her head. She's still under anesthesia, and so if she were to wake up, she would do so in about four to six hours. If she hasn't woken up in twelve hours, we must assume that there was another cause for the coma. But, from looking at her vitals and her tests and the way her surgery went, I would be extremely optomistic, Mr. Bass."

I blinked. "Thank you..."

"Amber Ford, Mr. Bass."

"Miss Ford." I took her hand. "Thank you."

"Mr. Bass, you've been sitting here since we first took her in, and beside her bed for longer than that. Please t least humor me in letting me escort you to the cafeteria and letting you use my employee card to get you something to eat. I could use a coffee break anyways, and I could discuss with you in detail how Blair's surgery went." She saw the hesitation cross my face. "She's not going to wake up for at least four hours. I know you don't want to leave her in case she were to wake up, but she's not coming out of the anesthesia anytime soon, even if she had been fully awake when we had given it to her. You'll do better when she wakes up if you weren't a half-corpse yourself. Trust me. We want her calm when she comes to, and the sight of you like this..." Amber shrugged, making her point. I nodded and she stood, offering her hand to help me up.

I took a couple of stiff steps. When I reached the door, I turned back to look at her. Her brown curls were dull, swept to her left to keep from bothering the little patch of gauze attatched to the back of her neck, a small corner of white was visible. Her skin was pale, her chest mechanically moving up and down. I expected her to sit up and ask me not to leave. "She'll be fine," Amber said. "Any change will show up on the monitor and someone will be in here right away. Even if she were to wake up, her heart would start to go a bit faster and alert the nursing desk." I looked to Amber. "I swear to you, she'll be fine." I nodded, glancing back as I left the room.

Within five minutes, Amber had me sitting in a chair in the far corner of the cafeteria with a plate of biscuits and gravy, a chocolate muffin, and a strong coffee in front of me. I had been weary of eating much, especially hospital food, but she assured me that the biscuits and gravy were delicious. I took a small bite, at which my stomach growled, alerting me as to how hungry I actually was. Amber laughed. "When is the last time you ate?"

"Blair had made me breakfast the day she..." My memory kicked in. I had shoved the food back at Blair, telling her to eat it because I had thought she wasn't eating. She was pale. She could hardly stand. Come to find out that they were all just symptoms of the tumor. If I had just... "But I didn't eat it. I don't remember the last time I ate." One.

"Well, dig in. The faster you finish, the faster you can get back to her. I told the doctors to page me if anything happens on my break." She smiled, gesturing to my food for me to eat. I mechanically took a bite. "I can tell you care about her. How did you two meet?" Two.

I told her. Everything. Every detail. Every mistake. Every time I left. Every time I hurt her. Every time she said she loved me, even though I had broken her. Every time she made me fel like the luckiest man in the world. Even though it was all slipping away. Three.

By the time I had finished talking, my plate was clean, the coffee was gone, and all that was left of the muffin were a few crumbs. Amber looked down at her hands. "And I thought 'The Notebook' was the single greatest love story. I guess I was wrong."

"It's not turning out to be a love story. It's a tragedy."

"No, Mr. Bass. It's not. She'll wake up soon."

I put my head into my hands. "I can't stop thinking about her."

Amber took my hands and pulled them away. "That's a good thing, Mr. Bass. But think of the good times. All those good times you just told me about. Seeing her for the first time. Kissing her at your wedding. Waking up next to her every morning. Hold on to those. It's those memories that will get you through." Her brown eyes bored into mine. After a long time, I nodded. She smiled, but almost instantly her face changed to one of suprise. She pulled her pager from where it had been clipped on her jacket, and it was vibrating. With one glance, she stood up. I knew. Blair.

I began sprinting back to Blair's room. I could hear Amber's footfalls behind me, running as fast as I was. I nearly slammed into the door frame. Two doctors were on either side of her bed. The one closest to me was blocking my view, touching a stethescope to her chest. I couldn't see her chest moving.

One.

Two.

Three.

Over and over again.

Suddenly, the doctor moved.

And I was frozen.

Brown eyes bored into mine.

And one word was whispered.

So soft...

But I could have heard it a thousand miles away.

"Chuck."


	18. Waking Up

**A/N: I'm happy with the status of my last chapter. I would like to say that Amber Ford is not going to be a recurring character and she was NOT created to have any impact on Chuck and Blair's relationship, she was only one of those genuinely nice people.  
**

**BPOV**

It wasn't what I expected. Not like in the books. No bright white lights. No images of family long dead. No feelings of floating on a cloud.

More like being in black jello.

There were voices, none of them I recognized, all of them melded together. No hope of making out a single word. Except one.

"Blair." Chuck. "I love you." His voice was louder than the others. I wanted to scream. Scream back my love for him. But I knew I couldn't.

All of a sudden, or maybe longer, the voices were replaced by static.

I opened my eyes.

And then I was sucked back in.

And I opened them again.

Two people were hovering over me. Boy. Girl.

There was a man in the doorway. Chuck. I said it out loud.

A woman came up behind him. Blonde. Pretty. Not Serena.

"Blair." I reached out.

"I love you." Chuck took my hand, holding it to his heart.

"Do you remember?"

I nodded. "I didn't jump. I fell. I was dizzy. I fell. I don't..." I couldn't find the words.

"I saved you." I saw it then. Right above his eyebrow. The scratch. Held together with two tiny butterfly stitches. A rip in his skin. I traced it with my finger.

"She's going to be a bit loopy. The morphine, you know." A different voice. Male. Not Chuck's. Not important.

"What happened to me?"

"You had a brain tumor. I let them operate, and they got it out. They saved you, Blair." A tear trailed down his cheek. "I owe them my life, Blair. If they hadn't saved you, they would have killed me, too."

"Chuck, I..."

"Don't, Blair. Please. We don't have to talk about it now. Just rest."

"I'm so tired, Chuck." My eyelids started drooping.

"I'll be right here, Blair. I won't leave you."

"I love you, Chuck."

"I love you, too, Blair." His voice was the last thing I heard before I surrendered to the tug of sleep.

**CPOV**

She slept for a long time. I didn't count the hours. I couldn't. I couldn't tear my eyes from her face. She looked so different. Peaceful. She mumbled in her sleep, and I heard my name several times.

I never let go of her hand.

**A/N: I know it's a very short chapter. It needed to end here, though. Comments, please!**


	19. Home Again

**A/N: Hi. Crazy ass winter storm here. Not as bad as they said, but this morning was sleet, and I got the ice off my windsheild after 20 minutes of scraping, and I couldn't get halfway down my street before it froze again and I couln't see. I almost hit a lightpost. So I've got today off since I couldn't make it in. If it wasn't for my son, I would have just spent the night in one of the open rooms, but I was too freaked about the storm to leave him, even with my mom. As for the story, I don't really know anyhing about tumors, so i don't know if it was malignant, benign, etc. She's fine now. That's what matters.  
**

**CPOV**

She couldn't wait to get home. To be honest, I couldn't either. My back was protesting against my nights in a recliner beside her bed, but I kept refusing Blair's protests to share the bed with her.

To be honest, I didn't think I could.

I didn't think I could be near her, because I was too afraid I would push her away again. I didn't want to leave her side, because I didn't want her to think I didn't love her.

To be honest, I didn't think I could leave her side even if she asked.

To be honest, I didn't know what to do.

But we were going home. Soon. Twenty-three minutes, to be exact.

Blair was fidgeting. They had finally disconnected the IV, taken out the tubes from her skinny wrist. She stood at the window, the edges of her sweater in her fingers. Her foot was tapping lightly, her softly brushed curls bouncing up and down. To be honest, her eagerness to get home was worrying me. So I asked her for the fifty-seventh time.

"Chuck, I'm sure I'm ready. I'm ready to get out of here." She turned to me, put her arms around my neck. "I'm ready to go home. To be with you. To be normal."

"Blair, nothing's going to be normal anymore."

"Why? Because I have to go to a councelor once a week? Because I just got through one of the worst things that has ever happened to me? So what! I've still got you. You are what matters to me, I know that. As long as I have you, nothing else matters. I can get through anything." She leaned forward, placing a peck on my lips. "I love you." She nestled her head against my chest. "That's all I need."

"I love you, too, Blair." I wrapped my arms around her, almost squeezing her to me. "I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you."

"You didn't. That's all that matters." She snuggled deeper into my chest, but I took her shoulders and pulled her back.

"Blair, we do have to talk about this."

"Please, Chuck. Not now. Not here. Let's just go home, settle back down. I just want to go home." A tear fell down over her pale cheek.

To be honest, I could never resist those tear-stained cheeks, those sparkling brown eyes.

A doctor came in holding Blair's chart. "Mrs. Bass?" Blair looked up at him in anticipation. "Are you ready to go home?" Her head bobbed eagerly. The doctor laughed. "Well, I just need you to sign this paper, and then I'm going to give you a prescription for an anti-anxiety medication. Have you ever heard of Zanex?" Blair nodded. "I'm going to give you a small dosage. Not much, and its for you to use only when you need it."

Blair grasped my hand, and I gave hers a small squeeze. To be honest, she was cute when she worried.

"So, can I go home now?" She asked after she gave the doctor her signature.

"Yes, I believe you're ready. A nurse will be in in a minute with your wheelchair to wheel you out." He saw the beginnings of Blair's pout and chuckled. "It's procedure. You have to. I hope you feel better soon." With a small wave, the doctor left. Less than a minute later, Blair was being wheeled down the hall, still clutching my hand.

Once I gingerly lifted her into the limo against her protests, we were finally on our way back home. The ride was silent but long. Blair started off sitting on the edge of the French leather seats, slightly bouncing, staring out the window. When we got to the Empire, her head was resting against my chest, her doe brown eyes shut in a peaceful slumber. "Blair," I whispered into her ear. "Blair, love. We're here."

"Mmm." She groaned, and her eyes snapped open. "Oh, finally!" She jumped up, grabbing for the door handle, but she hit the top of her head on the roof and came crashing back down into my lap. "Ow." She rubbed her head, glaring at me as I chuckled at her eagerness.

To be honest, I was ecstatic about that tiny glimpse of my old Blair.

She stood close to the elevator door, staring down the numbers above them, waiting for the bright red "P". Finally, it dinged, and Blair jumped out of them and into the living room. She sighed and collapsed onto the couch, murmuring in approval. I chuckled, striding over to her and kissing her soft forehead. She turned her face slightly, and our lips met each other with equal eagerness. I smiled and pulled away.

To be honest, it was hard to keep from dancing with joy. But kissing Blair...my Blair...that was close enough.

"Are you hungry, Blair? I can make you something better than hospital food," I tempted her. She nodded eagerly, and she and I walked to the kitchen, my hand on the small of her back. She sat on a chair at the island counter while I cooked up macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, and brown gravy. Blair skimmed through the newspaper that had been laying on the counter as I cooked, occasionally sighing as the smells of non-hospital cuisine wafted through the room.

"Oh, lord, please tell me it's almost done, Chuck. I don't think I can take it any longer."

I laughed, setting a plate in front of her. She abruptly dug in. After a few bites, she slowed down, savoring the food. I turned and made myself a small plate and sat beside her, my right hand wandering to wrap around her waist while my left held my fork.

When she was done, I set both of our plates in the sink. When I turned around, she had disappeared. My heart began thumping in my chest.

To be honest, I don't know what I expected.

"Blair?" I called.

"In here!" Her voice drifted from the bedroom. I ran in to see her laying on her back on the bed. She moaned. "Oh, god, I missed this bed." She sat up to look at me. "You never know how truly blessed you are to have a bed as comfortable as this until you sleep in a hospital bed for a few weeks."

I smiled, and she stood up, walking towards me in that insanely sexy way of hers.

To be honest, we hadn't had sex in a while, and the tiniest thing she did was more than enough to send those urges pulsing through my veins...and my pants.

"Chuck?" She said, her bottom lip sticking out slightly. What I wouldn't give just to kiss it, to feel my teeth raking across...

I gulped. "Yes, Blair."

Her eyes stayed locked on mine as she reached forward and slowly...agonizingly slowly...unbuttoning my shirt. "Do you know...how long...I was cooped up in that dreary hospital?"

"I...uh...uhm..." I couldn't think, taking short, shallow breaths.

"Long enough for me to realize...just how much...I love you." A smile spread across her lips as she slowly slid my shirt off of my arms.

"I...love you...too..." I could barely breathe. I felt like I was drowning in those pools of chocolate brown.

Her hands drifted down to my pants, unhooking the button and pulling the zipper down. "And I don't think...I've shown you...just how much I love you lately." My pants fell to the floor, and her hand brushed against the front of my boxers.

"Oh...my...Blair..." I gasped as she laughed, that tinkling bell laughter she had.

To be honest, I couldn't move. Blair had completely taken over me.

To be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Do you want me to show you...just how very, very much I love you?"

"Oh...Blair...yes..." I closed my eyes as her fingers dipped under my waistband. She chuckled, gripping the waistband and pulling me towards the bed. Her other hand laid on my chest and pushed me down onto my back. She crawled up beside me, her hand working my boxers down, my throbbing hard-on freeing itself.

"I've missed you so much, Chuck." Her fingers danced across my chest, and her other hand gripped my member. The breath was suddenly sucked out of me, and I lay gasping as her hand moved slowly. She smiled even bigger as she let go of me, her lips meeting mine with equal passion.

My tounge darted out and pried her lips apart as my hands began working at loosening the clothes from her body, which seemed to have multiplied under my urgent fingers. Finally, after minutes of agonizing fiddling with buttons and hooks and cloth, her body laid bare for my eyes and hands. My mouth found the sweet peak of her breast, and her eyes closed, savoring the feeling. but she gently pushed me back onto the bed.

To be honest, we didn't want it. We needed it. Like we needed air. More than. We needed each other. We needed to be together. We didn't have a choice in the matter. It was pure instinct, pure passion.

As I slid into her, my heart stopped. Two feelings rushed through me. Calm. I was home. This, with her, is where I was meant to be. And a feeling so out of control, so primeval, that made me begin to move inside her, to make her moan in pleasure, the same pleasure I felt.

The feelings built and built until I shouldn't have been able to contain them in this one body. But still, they kept building. Suddenly, through her moans, she whispered into my ear. "Oh...Chuck...please...come with me..."

"I'm with you, baby," I whispered back.

Her walls began pulsing around me. "Chuck!" She gasped. That was all I needed. My name coming from her sweet lips sent me spiraling up into the clouds with her, and together we shared this small piece of heaven.


	20. Saw It Coming

**A/N: I apoligize for the obsenely long hiatus. But I felt no better time to pick this story back up again than with the Season 5 opener. All I can say is WOW. And...did you see Blair's pregnancy coming? I did, and you know who I think is the father. As for me, I'm expecting my second child wedding is being held off until 1) I get my figure back and 2) we figure out what we're doing. My fiancee is thinking of enlisting in the Army, and we're trying to figure out how he can get through boot camp and miss the least amount of life possible. I refuse to let him miss the birth, and I'm going to need him afterwards, so he's got from now until the middle of February to get bootcamp done and over with and come home. So...I don't know. Enough of me feeling sorry for myself, back to the story!**

**Two months later  
**

**CPOV**

I never saw it coming. Never. Looking back on the past few weeks, I don't see how I missed it. But I did. Benefit of hindsight. You can beat yourself up for not noticing things you wish you had.

Things you never saw coming.

But it slipped past me, and I never noticed.

I would come home, and Blair would have dinner ready for me. I didn't notice that she had stopped making fish on Fridays. I didn't ask why, so I never would have known that the smell of fish would have made her sick.

We would lay in bed, and she would curl into my side instead of letting me spoon behind her, wrapping my arms around her stomach. It felt so good, having her head on my chest, her hands on me, holding onto me, that I never asked myself what had changed.

She would take showers at odd times, all of a sudden, and I never gave it a second thought.

I never saw it coming.

Until...

Until.

I realized I had left my tie hanging on the back of the door in the bathroom, which I had meant to put on. She was taking one of her last-minute showers. Or so I thought.

I opened the door, the room was full of shower steam. But Blair wasn't in the shower. She was kneeling in front of the toilet, retching. "Blair?" She looked up at me, her face pale, her stomach still heaving. "Blair..." I bent down and pushed her hair back from her face, holding it there as she heaved once again into the bowl. Five minutes. Five whole minutes of holding her while she lost everything in her stomach.

Finally, she wiped her mouth with a tissue, tossing it before flushing and leaning back, breathing deeply, her eyes closed.

"Blair, what's going on?" My mind went through the past few days. Had she looked this pale? Yes. Was she starting up her bulemia again? Why? I had been keeping her calm and stress-free. Nothing bad had happened.

"Chuck, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." A tear fell down her cheek and into her tangled caramel curls.

"Do you want me to call your therapist?" I asked gently, rubbing her shoulder.

Blair shook her head. "No, I'm fine. I already have an appointment with Dr. Shomway."

That threw me. I didn't see it coming. Still. I was so think-headed sometimes. "Why would you call your gynecologist? This is your stomach, isn't it? If you aren't throwing up on purpose, why would you see a gynecologist?"

Blair was silent for a long time. Too long. Knowledge was creeping around the edges of my consciousness, but I couldn't grab a hold of it. And then Blair spoke. "She said the morning sickness should get better with the perscription she gave me. After I couldn't keep anything down, she said she'd have to try some medicine. I have to be able to eat something." Her eyes still didn't open, as if she didn't want to look at me. Couldn't look at me.

Then it hit me.

Once again.

Not again.

Too soon.

Not ready.

Can't.

Not ready.

"Blair...you're...you're not...you're saying..." I couldn't get the word out. I felt like if I said it, it was over. That the present would suddenly become the past all over again. Blood. All over. All over again.

Her head slowly nodded. "Yes. I'm pregnant, Chuck."

I couldn't speak. I couldn't feel time. I couldn't tell where I was anymore. I was in the bathroom, but at the same time, I was laying in bed, in a bed covered with blood, with Blair lying there, not responding, hearing the ambulance sirens in the distance...

"I'm sorry, Chuck."

Hearing that maybe, just maybe, she might not wake up...

"Chuck...I know you didn't want this..."

Punching myself in the leg to keep myself from completely breaking down while she lay on the hospital bed, refusing to open her eyes...

"I'm so sorry, Chuck." Blair suddenly stood up and ran out of the bathroom.

I don't know how long it took for me to come around to reality. I could feel moisture trickling down my back from the steam of the shower. I stood up, shut it off. The silence was deafening.

Then I remembered. Blair.

I forced my feet to move in the direction of the bedroom.

Blair was laying facedown in the bed, clenching a pillow to her, her chest heaving.

I never saw it coming.

But that didn't matter.

All that mattered was Blair.

I walked over to her. Slowly, I took the pillow away from her, lifted her up to look at her, made her look up at me with tears in her eyes.

"Blair...please, don't cry. It's all right. It's going to be all right. I'm here, and I'm not leaving. I'm right here." I brought her to my chest, and she clutched me tighter as her tears dripped onto my shirt, mixing with my own.

We cried together most of that day. It was getting dark outside before we both had calmed down and come to our senses. We untangled ourselves from one another and sat up, although we kept some part of our bodies always touching. I brushed her matted curls back from her face. Her eyes were bloodshot, her nose was swollen and red, but she had never looked more beautiful to me.

"Blair, I'm sorry. I love you, Blair." I stroked her cheek. "Please, tell me about it. Tell me about our baby."

When Blair spoke, her voice was shaking, breaking from hours of crying. "I'm only 7 weeks. I'd be fine if not for the morning sickness. I couldn't keep anything down. The medication she gave me, it helps a little."

"What is it that makes you sick?"

"Fish. Anything salty. Anything greasy."

I thought back a few days. "So that's why you wouldn't let me bring you home a burger and fries. I thought you were just worried about your weight again."

Blair shook her head. "No, I can't stand the thought of it." She cleared her throat. "My next appointment is tomorrow at three. Would you...I mean...if you want to come with me...?"

I clutched her to me, holding her in my arms. "I'd be honored, Blair."

"Are you...happy...or..."

"Of course I'm happy, Blair. We're getting a second chance. And I'm going to do my best to keep you both safe." I slid one hand down to her stomach, where I found a small round lump. I chuckled. "So that's why you've been laying differently in bed. You thought I'd realize if I touched your stomach."

"I didn't want to tell you until I was sure everything was okay. I have a first-look ultrasound in five weeks, to make sure everything is fine. I just didn't want to see you get your hopes up if something was wrong. I didn't want to go through...that...again."

I shook my head. "I never saw it coming, Blair. But I couldn't be happier."


End file.
